Mothering Through It: Dr. Ruchi Gupta on Guilt & Grace in Food Allergy Parenting

Season 4: I Don't Want to Talk About It
In this special Mother's Day episode, I'm joined by one of the world's leading allergy researchers — who also happens to be a food allergy mom. While Dr. Ruchi Gupta's professional credentials are impressive, today’s conversation focuses on something even more powerful: her personal experience raising a child with food allergies.

We talk openly about the emotional side of this journey — the guilt, the vigilance, the second-guessing — and share some laughter over things that only food allergy moms will truly understand. It’s a candid, heartfelt conversation about what it means to carry both the clinical knowledge and the lived reality of food allergy parenting.

Some of this episode's many highlights:

• Role playing to educate our children
• Dr. Gupta's sneaky way of making sure her daughter was reading food labels carefully
• Her daughter's allergic reaction at a recent family event
• Gaining and losing allergies during/after pregnancy
• Different approaches of food allergy Moms/Dads and why both are useful
• The positive impact of food allergies on our kids' development

Links from this episode:

• @drruchigupta_
• @cfaarnu
• CFAAR Home Center for Food Allergy & Asthma Research: Feinberg School of Medicine
• 2025 CFAAR FOOD ALLERGY SUMMIT Center for Food Allergy & Asthma Research: Feinberg School of Medicine

Special thanks to Kyle Dine for permission to use his song The Doghouse for the podcast theme!
www.kyledine.com

Find Dr. Whitehouse:
-thefoodallergypsychologist.com
-Instagram: @thefoodallergypsychologist
-Facebook: Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, Food Allergy Anxiety Psychologist
-welcome@dramandawhitehouse.com

Transcript

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 0:00

I love it. I love watching it every single day and, and through all the challenges and all the guilt of everything I may have done wrong, they turn out okay. You know? And so I am, I am a very proud mom for both my kids, the kid with food allergies and the one without.

Speaker: 0:16

Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we dive into the complex world of food allergy anxiety. I'm your host, Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, food allergy anxiety psychologist and food allergy mom. Whether you're dealing with allergies yourself or supporting someone who is, join us for an empathetic and informative journey toward food allergy calm and confidence..

0:37

Welcome back to Don't Feed the Fear for Our Spring Season. I don't wanna talk about it. And today I am honored to be joined for this conversation about food allergy, mom guilt, shame, regret, and fear by someone who wears all the hats in the food allergy community. Dr. Ruchi Gupta is a professor of pediatrics and medicine at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. She's an attending clinician at Ann and Robert H. Laurie Children's Hospital of Chicago, and she is the founding director of the Center for Food Allergy and Asthma Research. Dr. Gupta is world renowned for her groundbreaking research in food allergy and asthma epidemiology, particularly her research on the prevalence of pediatric and adult food allergy in the United States. She's also the author of the books, the Food Allergy Experience and Food Without Fear, and numerous peer reviewed research articles, which have changed the landscape of food allergy. I know that most of you listening are food allergy moms, and just like I did, you will feel so seen in this conversation with someone who knows as much as anyone else about food allergies, and yet faces the same struggles and stress that we all do as food allergy moms

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 1:55

I was excited when I asked you what you wanted to talk about and you said motherhood yes. I don't know if everyone knows this about you, even though you say it often that you're an allergy mom too. So many of us want to hear you talk about that because as you know, we're struggling and we hold you up on this pedestal as this superhero of food allergies, but you're living it with us too. So thank you for being willing to

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 2:15

share that with us. Oh my goodness. I mean, that is my first and foremost most proud role, right. As as being a mom. Absolutely. And so most important role you can have. And so I so appreciate you wanting to even talk about that.'cause that's always just a sidebar. Even though it is your world, it's everything you do revolves around that role and protecting your child and making sure they can live their fullest life with their, their allergy. So thank you. It's

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 2:46

so central. Yes, of course. And I, I find it especially interesting about you, a lot of us, myself included, w e're just drawn to whatever we're dealing with. And for you, that happened backwards. Right? You finished medical school then tell me why you were drawn to public health and then food allergies before you even were a food allergy mom.

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 3:05

Sure. Um, so in medical school, I found myself really, uh, leaning into, uh, things outside of my classwork. I, I liked, um, developing programs and, um, you know, finding things that were issues and doing something about it. You know, I remember in the er, you know, I'd see domestic violence patients and I wouldn't even know what to say, and I wasn't trained. And so my first grant was, can we create some kind of a resource for medical students so they know what to say when they go in there and what things they can offer? And, and so, you know, I, I saw, and then like I did a whole thing for high school students for, you know, trying to understand medicine and ticking in diseased hearts and lungs. And I don't know, I, I've always been drawn to more towards where are the holes and how do we fix it, you know, and what can I do? And so in residency I was really fortunate. I did pediatrics and in residency I was really. Uh, I was at an institution, I was in Seattle and they did a lot of health services or outcomes research. So, um, I had done some basic science research and I enjoyed it, but I just didn't think it was my, my thing. And so, um, then after I got a little bit of the bug and residency,'cause I would see all these patients come in with asthma and I noticed that some of them would just keep coming back to the hospital, keep coming back, and others would be doing okay. And I was giving'em the same meds. So really trying to understand, you know, patient centered care, like what are we missing in asthma. So then I went to Boston, did my fellowship, got a master's in public health at, um, the Harvard School of Public Health, and then moved to Chicago and wanted to do, uh, work in asthma disparities. And then soon after, I think the same year, the next year, I met a family who had two young kids with food allergy. And these parents were just. Advocates and talking to me about how little we know about food allergy. So as a young, you know, new researcher, as I looked into food allergy, and it was true, we knew so little. So I was like, okay, let me, let me try my hand at this and see if I can help fill this hole. And it was a very big hole. We still filling. Um, but the one, some of the first things I discovered was were that like, um, people didn't understand food allergies. And so really doing knowledge, attitudes, beliefs, what are, what are, what do people think they are? And then getting into prevalence, right? So then it was, um, okay, we don't even know the disease burden. And so that became my next big thing. Like, let's at least do see what it looks like on a public health level. Um, and so here I am doing this and about three years into it. My son, uh, who loved PB and j and was home eating it and playing with my 1-year-old daughter, um, touched her, played with her, you know, got it in her mouth and, and then she broke out into hives and threw up and, and then I became a food allergy mom. And, um, that was so eye-opening to me.'cause it was, um, it was just, I'd been studying it. I talked to all these parents and, and I had even done a study where we looked at moms versus dads and how they handle their food allergy and, you know, so I, I had had these in depth conversations with so many parents and, and so all of it comes rushing back to you, you know? Now that's, that's me and that's my world. Um, so yeah, that's, that's how it started. So it was a little bit backwards, but I. Um, I'm, I'm grateful because I can do something about it. And I love talking to people like you and your community because I can take what you tell me back to the lab and, um, I can actually impact change and I hope the whole community feels they can, you know, through us, through the center.'cause that is our ultimate goal. How do we make our lives better as we search for a cure and, you know, work on prevention, but day-to-day lives?'cause food is a part of everything we do.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 7:20

Yeah. Yeah. And unfortunately then with living our lives, that can bring the, the anxiety, the trauma, the fear into a part of everything that we do, right. Not just our meals. So I'm, I'm so glad that you are acknowledging the importance of that in your work and when you're speaking because it's, it's constant. It's, it's

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 7:38

never relenting. No, never. I, I tell you, like, I tell this story all the time. I'm like, and I actually, um, told it to a group of, of researchers one time and somebody came up to me after and was like, well, I'm really worried about you. Like, oh my God, you should be worried about every one of your patients. You know, like, this is real. I wanna tell my real story because, um, it is, you know, your child is eating multiple times a day and there's, there's unique challenges when they're young. Mm-hmm. And then of course, you know, as they get older and wanna become more independent, um, other unique challenges, like the challenges keep changing, but food is always gonna be there. So, um, how, how that worry as, as a parent never goes away. And, um, understanding those challenges and having a community that you can trust and rely on. And so, thank you so much. You know, Amanda, for doing this because, um. Putting stories. I think once people feel like, well, I'm not alone and people have done this before me, and they are here to support me and lift me up through this, um, I think it helps so, so much. Even even for me, when I became part of the community, I joined, um, our local support group and I learned tricks of the trade from more experienced moms on things that I should and shouldn't be doing. Um, so every single one of us can learn from each other. Absolutely. I

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 9:11

say that all the time. I learned so much from those moms that I first connected with in the very beginning when I didn't know anything and they just, whether online or in person, kind of throw their arms around you and say, you know, here's how to do this and ask your doctor this. And it's that support that that belonging that we didn't wanna be a part of that club

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 9:29

and we

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 9:29

are. And so now we belong. But the sense of belonging helps.

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 9:33

Yes,

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 9:34

definitely. Going back to that moment you described when your son had the peanut butter sandwich and and your daughter had her first reaction. When that fight or flight kicks in and our nervous system takes over, it hijacks that, higher order thinking in our brains.

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 9:47

Totally. It's, it's a shock, right? And it's, you're getting so much information all at once and taking it all in and, you know, it's, it's scary. Now all of a sudden your life is going to change drastically, right? You're gonna have to watch every. Thing that your child eats everything in your home, you know, everything they're exposed to. Um, it is, it is a, a very difficult time. And I think at that first diagnosis is what we work on a lot on How do we support families, right? How do we get them, um, the information immediately and make sure they have a support group set up? But you can't do that for everyone. But, um, the guilt question is great because I, I think as moms, everything is about guilt, right at, for everything I hear. I have a comic, I, you know, one of the first books we wrote, we had all these comics in it. And one of the comics is, um. Uh, a doctor's telling a mom, you ate peanuts when you were pregnant. You caused your child's food allergy. You didn't eat peanuts when you were pregnant, you caused your child's food allergy. Yes. They get, we can't win. It's like, you can't win. No. And I get asked that so much. Oh my gosh, is it something I did? Is it because I did or didn't eat this? And um, you know, I feel that now with all the research I'm doing and others are doing, and we're realizing like when my infant, when my daughter had her eczema when she was really young and I was nursing her and I'm eating nuts because they're healthy snack foods. Um, and easy when you're a busy new mom and didn't even think that I'm eating these nuts and the proteins falling under her skin and things we didn't know. And I'll, uh, I'll give you my best guilt story is um, the New York Times called me when, um, the New England Journal article came out about leap and. Prevention. And I was so excited. I, you know, they were interviewing me and I, I, you know, told'em what I thought about it. And then at the end of the article, it said, and Dr. G Gupta slapping herself on her wrist for not introducing peanut products to her own daughter earlier. And I'm like, oh, no. So, so for all the moms out there, it just guilt. We gotta let go of guilt, you know, it's just nothing is your fault. And we gotta remember we're all doing the best we can with what we know. Yeah. And, um, I, I try to tell myself that it doesn't mean it'll take it away, but the more people support you in that, um, just we're doing the best we can with what we know. Right. At that time we didn't know, and now we know a little bit better, but, um, there's no guilt to this. And we, you know, so many times, I'm sure all of us have been in those situations where we allowed our child to eat something and then they had a reaction or, you know, we could've prevented it if we would've, you know, read this or that, or, or looked three more times or, um, and then you just feel horrible, horrible for so, so long. But, um, you know, we're doing the best we can with what we know and what we have at the moment.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 12:56

Yeah. On that note,'cause I'm one of those folks, that LEAP study wasn't out quite in time for me to, to early introduce. Right. In your book, you talk about. Even with early introduction, we don't prevent all of the allergies. Correct. It helps, but our kids might have had the allergies either way. We didn't cause

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 13:13

them right. Didn't cause'em. No, no. It does not prevent all allergies. It doesn't prevent allergies in everyone, you know? So, um, it can prevent and, uh. Subpopulation. Um, so it is important to do, but, um, no, it's not gonna prevent everyone. And every allergy, there's genetics that play in, there's so many other factors, you know, environment, microbiome, you know, we're learning more and more about all the multitude of factors that go into developing a food allergy. So yes, no guilt. Even if you did introduce early. Yeah. And for all those moms, I mean, I, I do wanna say, you know what's so great? I mean, I've been in this field now 20 years, my daughter's 18 and in college, and, um, one thing I can say that's just so beautiful is we do have treatments now. We do have prevention. Um, we do have ways to make life. Better. And so if you are a mom whose infant has developed some allergies, you know, there are ways that potentially early in life we can reverse it with treatment. So just, just know that things are moving rapidly and um, we can potentially change the course. Uh, and even if you have older kids like mine, you know, I, I want moms to know that, you know, after hearing all of this and you know, all of us being, talking about all the difficulties, and with food allergy, we actually surveyed young adults and said, what good has come outta your food allergy? And, um, I was. It was beautiful. So, you know, kids said that, uh, they advocate for themselves more and for others. So they have found their voice and they're able to speak up. Um, and not only about their food allergy, but other things. And the other thing, uh, that was really high was they have more empathy. For others with conditions and everybody's got something. Right. So I was thinking, you know, the two big things, if you wanted to instill in your child, it would be empathy and advocacy. And those are two skills that kids do learn from food allergy. And then the third one was really funny. They eat healthier'cause they actually read labels. Right.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 15:35

It's also quite important, right, for us to know what's in our food and what we're putting in our bodies Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I, I talk about that a lot with my clients within the concept of post-traumatic growth. Because like you said, everyone has a challenge. It, we don't always see it. It looks like everyone else's lives are perfect, but everyone has something. So if this is the one that I've got and that's what it, what comes out of it and it's something that's treatable and there are options, yeah, I'll keep it.

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 16:00

Yes. Yes.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 16:01

While we're on the topic of treatments, are you comfortable talking about your stance as a food allergy mom with an older child, obviously who missed those early years, potentially of OIT, but have you encouraged her or have you talked about treatment options for her at her age and what that might look like?

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 16:19

Absolutely, yes, and I, I, I really do, um, wanna. Emphasize that, like with my daughter, you should see us talk, have her on sometime. I, I, I know you should. We, you should have us on. And it would be fun banter. Um, for sure. Because all of a sudden I am purely mom and I am no longer the expert, and I'm not supposed to act like an expert. And, um, we probably have the same conversations, everyone listening has. Um, so it, it's really, it's really fun and fascinating, you know, to, to observe on the other side. When I talk to all my patients, I'm a totally, you know, looked at in a very different way to my daughter. So with my daughter, um, we have talked about treatments, um, for years. Uh, she, um. Fortunately she had peanuts, tree nuts and egg. She grew out of egg. Which to everyone listening, you know, if your child has some of these really hard ones to avoid, like egg and milk, um, just know we do have like egg ladders and milk ladders where you start with baked and you can work up. Um, I just wanna encourage everyone listening that there are new treatments, uh, to be aware of. Um, if you have, similar to my daughter Peanuts Tri, some of the harder ones that kids don't grow out of as easily, um, it is. You know, possible to do OIT. Now we know more about sublingual immunotherapy and now we have the first FDA approved biologic, um, omalizumab or zolair. So those are great treatment options and um, it really is patient-centered. So it's you and your child. Um, my daughter when she was in high school is when all of this started coming out. And high school is also when kids start risk taking and going out to eat and parties and with their friends and, um. Really assessing, you know, their desire and their, you know, putting themselves in danger. Um, OIT was challenging because my daughter is also an athlete, so you have to think about things like that, you know, what does this mean? When will you take your doses? Um, so she was also in a school which was nut free, at least the cafeteria food. So she felt relatively safe. Now, if your child has multiple food allergies and other things, sesame things, you can't avoid, you know, so everyone's story is different, right? And so you have to look at your full picture and decide. And I had access, but she was like, I'm good. I'm avoiding, I feel okay, and I don't wanna like, deal with this with practices and games and all. So we, we didn't do that. Then Omalizumab was released. You know, just February of last year. And I started bringing that. Um, and she's like, but I'm, I'm not having an issue right now. And she was going to a college, and her college happens. The whole college is nut free. It's one of the first ones that was ever nut free. Her entire cafeteria is free of all nuts. And it was such a safe place for her. And so we, I bring it up every time she's coming home tomorrow, I bring it up again because honestly, she's like, it'll just make you feel better. I'm like, yes, that's really important. Um, but she, you know, it's, she's an adult now. And she needs to decide her own risk. I mean, um, the story I'll tell you is we went to a family wedding, which was a really big Indian wedding, and they had amazing food and it just broke my heart because she was going to Starbucks. The Starbucks in the hotel and eating that, you know, breakfast, lunch, and dinner while we're all raving about how good the food is. And it, um, it was so hard, and this is where I was not like, you know, anything will allow her to eat it right now. But those kind of things, those quality of life things where everyone's like c channeling down and you're having, you know, you're saying every day egg bites in the morning. Like, it's like, I like, oh my goodness. It, it just, it's very heartbreaking. And so. Um, we actually got the chef.'cause you know, the family is like, let's, let's fix this. There's gotta be some of this without nuts. Chef comes out, um, and tells her like, this, these couple foods are safe for you. She gets so excited and she chows down and she's like, oh my God, this is so delicious. I love it. And then like a couple minutes later, tingling starts, the throat starts getting tight and I, I just couldn't believe we were in this situation again. You know? And here we did everything possible. I was feeling bad. I'm like, can we check with the chef? Can we try to let you eat properly? And um, and she had an allergic reaction. Had to take epinephrine was okay, you know, after the epinephrine. So epinephrine early, another, another big lesson.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 21:33

How powerful, honestly, you and I both, we live, eat, sleep and breathe it every day. But to hear you say that, that it does still happen, and even your child, had this happen and that we just have to not be afraid to use that epinephrine immediately.,

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 21:48

People are still so afraid of it. So afraid. Please don't be afraid. Oh my God. I can tell you it reversed her symptoms within minutes. Like all her symptoms were gone. Um, and a night that, you know, may not have. Ended terribly. But you know, normally she'll throw up a couple times and um, she will have that stomach pain and throat closing feeling, um, just gone. So please, you know, don't fear it, but immediately what sets in to me guilt, like, here, why did I even trust it? Like I should have known better. Um, she could eat her whatever, you know, like sandwich for the 10th time, but at least she would've been safe. But I took a risk too by trusting the chef, you know, in a place where I know potentially could have a lot of nuts. So again, the, the guilt sets right back in, you know, immediately my heart sinks to how stupid am I like of all people in the world. Shouldn't I know better? You know? So for me to admit this to all of you, like just know we're all doing the best, we want the best for our kids. I mean, I was just trying to get her up. A meal that she would enjoy and, and then all of a sudden a reaction. But yes, use that epinephrine. She was better immediately. She got to, you know, not suffer through the sequela of a reaction. Yeah.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 23:17

Thank you for sharing that I can feel the weight of my own son's reactions and our own experiences when you talk about it, because it, it just hangs there and weighs on us so heavily. So I, I really appreciate you being willing to talk about it. Yeah,

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 23:30

of course. I mean, we're all real people and you know, we have to share our vulnerabilities because, um, no one should put, first of all, you on any kind of pedestal, but, um, just know I'm, I deal with the exact same issues and we're all trying to make the best decision in that moment. You know, like, what is right, what is wrong? What should we do? And I. You know, we make mistakes. That's we're human. So

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 23:59

another thing I think it illustrates that's difficult and powerful for all of us to hear is that here, even one of the biggest voices in the food allergy world, navigating things with family, here's a family wedding, can she eat here? You are still dealing with things like that too. Then we all do that, tracing it back thing and problem solving. Were you, do you mind me asking, were you able to figure out what happened with the food that ended up causing the reaction or didn't you get an answer?

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 24:22

No, we never got an answer. Um, you know. We, I have tried in the past, like, um, but at this point, you know, you also are also balancing like, this is a family wedding. I don't wanna ask the family. Like they're in the middle of their kid getting married and then, you know, they had done enough to get me the chef and um, then I couldn't find the chef, right? They're somewhere in the back. And so then I have to go back to the family and ask, well, why are you asking? Well, my daughter's having an allergic reaction, you know, taking the focus. And I think we've all been there. Like, do you take the focus off of what's. Like, it's their wedding, right?

Speaker 4: 25:00

God, I God.

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 25:01

And then it's like my daughter and I. So, um, for that case, I never, um, got to go all the way back. But, you know, the couple times I have and I'm, you know, like I'm sure other parents have, I, I remember we were on vacation and we were at a restaurant. And again, my stupidity is you try to let your child live their fullest life, you know, and you're trying, um, in this restaurant they had everything labeled everything. And it, um, they ask right when you walk in, they put a card on your table, everything on the menu is labeled. You tell your waiter like we did every single step, but it was a Chinese restaurant and, but everything was labeled. So I'm like a hundred percent sure you can make this without nuts. And it had no nuts on the menu. All of a sudden it comes out and it's full of nuts and, um, but the nuts were all on the bottom. And it was like, and then she took just one bite. Um, and she didn't even eat a nut, but, um, she took a bite and she started feeling it. And that restaurant, I remember I just lost it. I'm like, oh my God, you have all these precautions. And we did every single one. And she still had a reaction. What happened? You know, or you, you try really hard. But in the end, I've, and then another restaurant where they're like, no, there's absolutely nothing in it. I don't know what she reacted to. I'm like, there had to be, you know, and so I've gotten that a lot. Well, it's, no, I don't know what she's rea She must have another allergy. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 4: 26:33

No, I'm an expert in this, but, okay. And, uh, but she's like, please don't use the, do you know who I am? I was

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 26:41

gonna say, do you say it? Because it would be really hard not to.

Speaker 4: 26:45

I know, I know. She's, every time we go to a restaurant and they ask, she's like, don't you dare mom? Because they'll be like, do you have any food allergies? I should be aware. I'm like. No, but thank you so much for asking. And she's like, stop doing that. Just like, don't you tell'em this is what I do for a living. Like, okay. Oh, so it's, it's fun. Our lives are entertaining.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 27:10

It keeps us on our toes, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, and I think you, the way you're describing your daughter, obviously I don't know her, but you mentioned earlier when you're talking about treatments, she said, I'm fine. You know? So I think as parents we worry and as moms we're so afraid that they're just being completely destroyed by this. When really I think we carry a lot, and they're not necessarily as distressed as we are. Would you agree? Both at home and in your work?

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 27:33

Yeah, I do. I do agree. I think, you know, in different phases of their lives, I think it's important for us. I think a lot of our distress can become their distress. And I learned that, and you probably know this better than anyone, um, well, knowing it and changing it. Our two different things, right? Different things. Yes. And I remember. Just in this area.'cause I know everything. I've seen so many patients and I, um, I remember when she was young, she was very dependent on me. Like, if I would travel, she would get very upset and scared. And I realized I was over, like I was being too much of a protector for her and she needed to learn. And I remember she would hand me things to check and I started fake pretending like it didn't have something in it. Obviously observing her very carefully, I'm like, I don't see it. I think you're okay, but can you double check? And so then it would make her read it. She's like, why? I am like, just please'cause my eyes, you know, I'm getting old. And that, and so she would double check. She's like, mom, oh my God, you almost made me eat the, and I'd just be like, okay. Thank God. All right, cool. I mean, I would've pulled it right out of her, but like trying to play like, I don't really know. And you are the expert, you know, you are managing your food allergy, or because of, you know, my world in this, every time we'd go somewhere, it would be an expectation. I would tell the waiter, you know, and in the end, I, I would, no, I'm not me. You know, like, I don't, it's gotta be you. You gotta start self advocating and feel like you can take care of yourself. And so a lot of that happened early on. And then. The fear and anxiety. So like you said, we have to change, you know, we have to hand over to them and, and you know what I heard from mom and dads, let me tell you.'cause this was really interesting to me when I did a focus group with moms. The moms were like, you know, I just wanna protect my child, which we all do, um, and keep'em safe. And a lot of moms would say, and they had issues with the dad because the dad was not as careful. And so then I brought in all the dads and I'm like, we're doing a focus group with you guys. And they're like, well, we protect'em too. We just wanna live them to live to their full potential. We wanna get'em, push'em as far as much as we can to be safe, but also be able to do as much as they can. You know? So it was really, really interesting'cause they were both. Cared a ton. It was just how they were expressing it. And so I learned like, one is protection, I'm gonna keep you with me and we're gonna be safe. And the other is, okay, push you to self-advocate, to be able to feel safe around food, even with your allergens in it. You know, because you're never gonna live in a world where you're not gonna be in the same room or the same area. So how do we remove that anxiety, you know? And first I have to remove it from myself for you. So I think as you go through life, just being aware of where they are, you know, and once they become confident, you see that they are, um, becoming independent and responsible. You know, they become very responsible. Um, and if. They're not, you know, then, you know, that's when you need to have these discussions. But, um, also no guilt. Like if a reaction happens, they just need to know how to manage it. Right.'cause it's hard to avoid.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 31:10

Right. Which is one thing that I see a lot where there's so much emphasis on avoiding and doing the right thing, that when a reaction happens, a lot of kids will hide the reaction for fear of the parent's response to it. Yeah. Not even fear of the epinephrine, just, I don't wanna upset or scare or get in trouble or whatever the emotional reaction they're anticipating might be.

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 31:29

Yeah. And that is so important, like to make sure a child feels completely, um, safe in saying they're having an allergic reaction and there is no guilt or blame or, you know, you may have eaten the wrong thing. It's totally fine. Um, but it is, it is. So that I think is the most important. Piece is to make sure that if a reaction happens, they know exactly what to do and are very confident doing it. And one of the things that I find very helpful is role playing. You know, like we just, just play different scenarios that happen, you know, at school. You know, even if someone's eating something, you know, like how do you say, oh, you know, you're eating that and you're right next to me. Is it, I'm, I'm moving a little bit farther away, not'cause I don't like you. You know, like, how, what words do you use? What are the words?'cause like you said, you freeze in those moments, you know, and you don't know exactly what to, to say. Even as a mom, like we would always call it the stare. Like Ria would be like, not sure, right? She's like, I'm not, mm. I feel a little funny. And then you just, I would just dare like stop staring at me and I'm like, oh,

Speaker 4: 32:43

like watching for any hive to pop out or what she is doing. And, and so I was like, let's just role play reactions and

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 32:51

then what is the right thing for me to say, you know, like, and what is the right, like, let's just pretend. Because the more you practice something, the more Yes. It's, it's second nature when it actually happens. Yes. It's never

Speaker 4: 33:05

perfect, but it's, it's better,

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 33:09

you know? Yes. I'm sure you included this part, but I always encourage people to tag on practicing using the epinephrine. Not just how do I do this, but tag on imagined stress and anxiety and fear and moving into using the epinephrine to relieve that is very different from, oh, hey, let's play silly, which is also good, and practice using this. But it's different when you tie it to that

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 33:31

stress. Right? A hundred percent. In fact, you know, one of the, the best things we did, I think was have friends over and go through a scenario and then actually use real epinephrine on grapefruits because they need to see how it works, right? Because everyone gets so scared of it. But once you, you pop it into a grapefruit, like that's your leg and now you are using it and that's how easy it is. And that's how you never see the needle, you know, it takes seconds. It's not a big deal, you know? Then they, I think that encourages'em to feel safe using it when they're actually in the situation. So I'm so glad you brought that up. Very, very important. And now we have the nasal too. Yes, yes. And we have a sublingual coming. So, um, all of that I think is gonna get even easier hopefully for, for families and kids.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 34:24

Agreed. I just had a conversation before I logged down with you with my son, about, we can sit down and look at and talk about all these options that they're going to be and which one is the right one for you, which is so empowering. Yes,

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 34:36

a hundred percent. Yeah. And when my daughter was in that situation, she has, um, she has both, she has the autoinjector and she has the nasal. And I am like, what do you want? You know, like Yeah. In the moment for her to choose which one? Yeah. Yeah. And then she chose one. She did it. She felt better and empowered her to, you know, you can do this on your own, you know, and. Pick what you wanna do and just, but just do it. Do it right away. Yes.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 35:06

Yes. Speaking of empowering our kids, another hole that I think there is and I have a, a conversation scheduled with Dr. Sicherer. But I want you to weigh in on this too, about when kids get to that age of relationships and dating and kissing and physical intimacy and they do not want, especially their mothers to talk to'em about it, as medical professionals, mental health professionals, moms, how do we all get that information in our kids' heads that they need to have about it?

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 35:35

Yes. So, you know, as kids, you know, get to their teen years, I think having these conversations are so critical, um, and really discussing it, it's so challenging because. I completely, I, you know, we have so many young adults, um, that work with us. So many high schoolers, so many college students, and you know, we talk to all of them like, what do you do and how do you navigate? Um, and, you know, just my own daughter, but understanding that it's pressure enough to like start dating someone or liking someone, let alone making it very clear that you have a life-threatening food allergy and this is very important to you. Um, so I think early on, again, having a conversation about, you know, those scenarios and what you would do, everything going to a party, you know, like what could be in the food. A lot of those things are not labeled, you know. What are in the drinks, you know, what's going on there, you know, what should you consider safe and what could be dangerous? And, you know, navigating all of that is, is a real challenge. And so I guess my advice would be, um, definitely what their allergist, I think that's a, a great person or even their generalist, you know, to sit down and, and make sure they know from them, but anyone they're comfortable with. But as a parent, you know, having those conversations. And then honestly, again, I always go back to role playing.'cause I think it's just so nice to be able to figure out the right words mm-hmm. That you would use to explain, you know, food allergies and if I'm gonna kiss you, you can't have eaten this food, you know, for at least a day and brush your teeth a couple times between that. Mm-hmm. And uh, and you know what I'm learning is if you put it into a fun. Kind of jovial, friendly way. Everybody gets it, you know, and they understand. And if they really like you, you'll know. And that's kind of important. So yes. So I, I do, I do think it's possible. And I do think, you know, the greatest thing I think today versus 20 years ago when I started is they're very common now. And, you know, 10% of kids going to college have a food allergy. So we're talking a lot of kids. Um, so I don't think it comes as, um, big surprise or what do you have or why, or what, you know, like most people get it. I mean, most restaurants now ask, which is such a wonderful thing. So I think our, our system and our awareness is changing for the better. And it's all supporting these kids who are going into those scenarios. I also think, you know, one of the biggest things we learned is that kids, it's, um, having friends. That know and support you is really important. That's why I said like even in high school, bringing in a couple friends, playing around with a grapefruit and a scenario, you know, like they don't mind it. You know, they actually learn a lot and appreciate it, you know, and so, um, doing a little bit of that, making a couple of their friends really aware of what a food allergy is and what it can do and what they should do in an emergency, um, really helps that the kid themselves. And, and even those young adults told us that the biggest thing that helps'em is having friends that support them harder for, for guys. Um, so I don't know how your son, um, is doing, but the, the young men I know, um, have found it more challenging. I had, I had a young, um, a young adult, uh, outta college who came and worked with me, and he didn't even tell me he had a food allergy. And then one day he accidentally ate a kale chip. But it had cashew on it. And he came to my office red asking like, can I, can I talk to you? Having an allergic reaction? And then it was so severe. And then of course he forgot his epinephrine because he switched bags. And so we walked him to the emergency room, which was, you know, down the hall and um, or down the street and he got epinephrine. But both him and I wrote a whole editorial on this, our experience and helping young people understand, just disclosed, you know, just let you know you're working in a food allergy center. Right?

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 40:08

I was just imagining there being epinephrine in all shapes and sizes laying around everywhere. Now there is, now I stock the

Speaker 4: 40:16

office. I am like, all right, that, that taught me that I should have stock epinephrine just in my, in my office. So now, now if you come to my office and have anaphylaxis, I got you covered.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 40:27

Good to know. Another thing related to parenting and mothers many of the moms I've worked with have had a change with their own food allergies associated with a pregnancy. I lost food allergies. Many women gain food allergies or other food intolerances. Can you tell us a little bit more that a thing, right?

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 40:47

Yeah. Oh, it's so a thing and I'm so glad you brought that up because um, our adult study was so interesting.'cause what we found, which shocked me, is that 50% of adults with food allergies said they developed a new food allergy as an adult. Mm-hmm. And so, you know, we always think of it as a childhood thing, but Oh no. I mean, there are so many adults developing new food allergies. When we look at why, you know, what is the turn on switch in adults, um, some of the things we, we definitely see, um, signals with are hormones. So hormonal changes. Uh, you see it in puberty, you see it in pregnancy and you see it in menopause. You see either a turn on or a turn off of that switch. So you do see new food allergies developing and hormones can be a factor in that. Um, other things that can be a factor that we discovered were. Some kind of illness, something that, um, triggers your immune system in one way or the other. So a viral or bacterial infection, um, around that time period, you know, a change in your environment. Uh, did you move or change locations, um, or places. So we're learning more and more. We don't have it, you know, solidified yet. Um, but the microbiome also holds a lot with that, right? So the microbiome is very powerful and things that you do to change that microbiome, um, and impact, it can, can have a, a, an impact on your food allergies. So learning more and more every day. But that is a real thing and it definitely does happen. This

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 42:26

is probably an impossible question, We know about microbiome, we know about hygiene hypothesis, but how close are we to actually understanding fully What's your best guess as one of the most informed people out there on this?

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 42:38

Uh, stopping. I mean, I, I told you that's my dream, right? Mm-hmm. Like, um, so I, I think we're, we're on the right track. Um, we are preventing food allergies with early intervention. I think honestly, as a pediatrician too, I think, um, we medicalize too much and sometimes we push the pendulum too far, right? So everyone's getting stuff. We don't know why. We don't know why food allergies are increasing. Okay? Don't feed your kid peanut, um, space out your food three to five days between introducing a food to make sure they don't have a reaction. Um, you know, all the other new things, the increased hygiene for newborns. Um, the increase in antibiotics and c-sections like all these. Things that we're doing to infants, um, where we're just not letting'em be babies, and they're so resilient, you know? And so what we're trying to do is, is not go completely back, but somewhere in the middle where, you know, let's, let's try to, you know, we're doing things, even c-sections are required in most cases. And so how do we get that, you know, we we're doing swabs where we can get that bacteria put back on those babies. We are decreasing the amount of antibiotics we give them for unnecessary reasons. If we have to, we have to. But even if we have to, now we're finding, um, replacements. How do you replace that gut microbiome quickly, you know, so that it can be a healthy gut microbiome even after they have to take something. Um, hygienes, I am such a big advocate for less cleansers. You know, babies are clean. They don't need, you know, that beautiful vernix that comes on babies, we just wipe it off away and it's, it's a protection, you know, so. I think going back a little, don't need to wait three to five days between introducing a food. You know, if they're gonna have a reaction, it usually happens pretty immediately, you know? So, you know, feed diversity we know is really, really important. You know, don't be, don't be scared of food. You know, like, how did we used to eat whatever house was eating? Kinda mesh it up and stick it in a baby's mouth, right? So we don't have to go back to that, but let's, let's not be as medicalized as we are because of the fear we had. Um, so I think early introduction, I think protecting an infant's skin is important. Obviously there's genetic pieces, um, but I think the sooner we discover those food allergies too, we have, we are discovering ways to then flip it and turn it around. You know, we've had so many infants, we're doing a large. Study a prevention study, uh, um, where we're introducing eight foods early to infants. And one thing we have found is the ones that do develop food allergies because they were going to anyway early. Um, we put'em on a program for OIT, like very, very slow increase. And we do see, and then sometimes you can use omalizumab with it so that they don't react. Um, so we're trying different things but we are finding we can reverse it. Um, and then in a year or two they're able to eat freely and their IgEs are dropped. So there not every kid, so there's always a population that we're like, ah, how do we fix it? But, um, but so many we are able to, because babies are so resilient, their immune systems are resilient. And so the earlier you notice and get treatment, I do think, um, we're moving from my big 8% numbers will be able to, to drop'em hopefully. Um. In my lifetime, you know, is my goal. Um, maybe not to zero, but you know, significantly less

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 46:27

well. And, and speaking of that in your numbers, that just absolutely shed a really important light on what was going on. I think a lot of us moms, we are guilty, we are stressed, we're ashamed of what we view as our mistakes, but we're also mad because this is an epidemic

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 46:41

yeah. You know, it's, it's interesting because I do think the world is, is catching on. We, you know, we are like, you know, there's the European conference and there's so much food allergy being talked about, you know, in Europe and in. Australia, definitely. You know, some of the Asian countries, it's very interesting. Um, what we're learning, um, food allergy is a thing, but it is still a very small thing and I'm really trying to crack that, like what is protective. Um, we also see with immigration, so for example, myself, right? I was moved to the US when I was two years old. Um, so I got my first two years there, I have no allergies, no atopy whatsoever. Um, same with my husband. He moved very early in life and had nothing. And then both our kids are highly atopic and so what was the protection? So then I went back and I was like, okay, let's look at kids there now, because they're modernized now they do things the same way we do. They've got the, you know, fast food chains from the US now. Um, but still we see no signal and it is so fascinating to me to better understand. So now we're looking at the gut microbiome, like what are we missing here That. Other, you know, countries or cultures may have. So I think the world is catching on. I think we're, we're seeing it increase in, um, European and Australian countries, but not as much in Asia. Um, and finding out what their secret is, as, as is, is key. Um, just like, you know, when we talk about, uh, the group in London, Gideon, and how they discovered, um, prevention, you know, it was, it was observation. So they observed that kids in Israel had significantly less food allergies than in London, same genetic kids. And that observation led to, oh, they're eating Bomba. So now I think what we need to do with the rest of the world is, okay, where is it low and what is it that they do, you know, whether it be their diet or their microbiome or different practices that they may lose when they move to. You know, a higher rate country. So yeah. Sorry. I feel like I can talk about every single topic

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 49:01

on this forever. I'm just, I could listen all day and I, on that note, what's next? What should the average person like me and everyone listening continue to do to change that here in the US To raise awareness.

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 49:12

Yes. Oh my goodness. I mean, I, I really think we should all advocate. There's a lot of amazing organizations, um, promoting policies for. Better school policies, better restaurant policies, better airline policies, you know, and I think as a community, what I'm so impressed with is the food allergy community is always bonds together. Right? I remember when I first started it was the Epinephrine in Schools policy, and that like took over the nation so quickly. You know, we did some work in Chicago because a young child passed away in school who didn't have epinephrine. And then we worked with the Chicago Public schools. Um, we published a couple papers, you know, and then it just, it really took off around the country. And I think that changed things. You know, it's still not perfect. I know there's still issues in schools, um, but we can get there together and, um. Supporting each other to build those policies, to educate, you know, people around you and your communities. Um, I'm, you know, really concerned and, and working hard to make sure the underserved community has access and knowledge about, uh, food allergy prevention, about treatments. You know, OIT we talk a lot about it, but it's not accessible and it's a privilege. It's, yeah, it's a privilege. And, and so how do we make it accessible, right? How do we, how do we not cause, you know, this equity gap to increase? Um, but I think it's all of us doing our part. Like the more policies I, we're trying to get WIC and Medicaid to pay, you know, to offer, I mean, these foods aren't expensive. Peanut butter is not expensive.

Speaker 3: 50:52

Mm-hmm.

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 50:53

So adding education and adding these foods to the packages, you know, what can we do as a community to make sure everybody has access and awareness and, you know, there's some great. Support groups and, um, foundations around food allergy that are doing so much. So I think backing everything we can. We have a conference in June and we're gonna do policy. So we're gonna talk about a couple different school policies. One of them, um, prevention in the WIC thing is one of'em. And precautionary allergen labeling. You know, how do we label items, which is a whole nother flowers. We want input from families, um, because all of these policies, you know, I, even though I am a parent, like I should not be the one making it. Everybody has to decide, is this a good idea or not? And then everyone has to full force back it.

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 51:48

Yes. Well, thank you. Thank you for all that you're doing on that front, because it is amazing how it's shifted, even just from when my son was diagnosed. And I will share, in the notes, all of your information so people can find you. Can I ask you one wrap up question? Tell me something great about being a food allergy mom

Dr. Ruchi Gupta: 52:05

Oh, a food allergy mom specifically. Um, gosh, I mean, I, I, I can tell you my son who doesn't have food allergies gets very jealous of my daughter with food allergies sometimes because I, I think I talk about her all the time. Um, I, I think it's, um, it's a privilege and an honor to, um, be a mom of, uh. Amazing daughter who is just the biggest advocate for everything and everyone, and has more empathy than I could ever dream of having, and is just so caring and wonderful. And, um, the challenges that food allergy brings, um, I think make her a stronger person. And I I love it. I love watching it every single day and, and through all the challenges and all the guilt of everything I may have done wrong, they turn out okay. You know? And so I am, I am a very proud mom for both my kids, the kid with food allergies and the one without. And, uh, um, and watching them support each other and take care of each other is also beautiful. So that awareness for the other one, and I mean, he is the most protective brother ever. That time when that restaurant thing happened, boy did he. Lose it, um, just to protect his sister. So, um, so yes, and I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for this amazing community, um, that we're a part of. And, uh, I am Happy Mother's Day to all you. Amazing, incredible, wonderful mothers out there, and we're all in it together. So anything you ever need me for, I just, I'm always here. Thank you. We all appreciate you and Happy

Dr. Amanda Whitehouse: 53:56

Mother's Day to you. Thank you.

54:00

Three action steps that you can take after today's episode are. Number one. Follow Dr. Gupta and all of her amazing work. Her Instagram account is Dr. Ruchi Gupta D-R-R-U-C-H-I-G-U-P-T, The Instagram account for the Center for Food Allergy and Asthma research is C-F-A-A-R-N-U. And you can easily find the website for the Center for Food Allergy and Asthma research by going to. www.feinberg.northwestern.edu/sites/cfa Dr. Gupta wants everyone to know about the 2025 Food allergy Summit that the center is hosting. And so if you are a medical professional, if you're an allied professional. if you do advocacy work, nonprofits, policy makers, researchers, industry representatives, educators, she's really eager about having people come together and continuing to find solutions So you'll find the link to the conference, which is June 27th to 29th. 2025 on the Center's website. All those links I just shared will also be in the show notes for you. Number two, if you don't have it, I really would strongly recommend reading and owning Dr. Gupta's book, food Without Fear. It's a great resource. It's very clearly written. Anytime something comes up that might be confusing, it's likely explained very clearly and compassionately in her book. And number three. If hearing Dr. Gupta talk about her personal experiences in this way resonates. I hope you'll share the episode with another food allergy mom who really needs to hear it. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day, and I hope you get just a smidgen of relaxation in your busy weekend. Thank you everybody for listening. the content of this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any questions about your own medical experience or mental health needs, please consult a professional. I'm Dr. Amanda White house. Thanks for joining me. And until we chat again, remember don't feed the fear.