Behavioral Health Insights with FAACT's Emery Brown

In this episode of Don’t Feed the Fear, Emery Brown, school psychologist and FAACT’s Behavioral Health Director, joins me to talk about how parents and schools can better support children with food allergies. We explore practical strategies that help children and their parents feel safe, understood, and able to thrive. This episode is packed with helpful tips from Emery's real-life personal and professional experiences, practical skills you can use right away, as well as ideas on how to use the many resources she has created for FAACT's Behavioral Health Resource Center. 

Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Connection Team | FAACT
Behavioral Health Resource Center | FAACT
Camp TAG | FAACT

Special thanks to Kyle Dine for permission to use his song The Doghouse for the podcast theme!
www.kyledine.com

Find Dr. Whitehouse:
-thefoodallergypsychologist.com
-Instagram: @thefoodallergypsychologist
-Facebook: Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, Food Allergy Anxiety Psychologist
-welcome@dramandawhitehouse.com

Transcript

Speaker: 0:01

Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we dive into the complex world of food allergy anxiety. I'm your host, Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, food allergy anxiety psychologist and food allergy mom. Whether you're dealing with allergies yourself or supporting someone who is, join us for an empathetic and informative journey toward food allergy calm and confidence..

0:22

Welcome back to Don't Feed The Fear. This episode is coming out just after I returned from the Food Allergy Anaphylaxis Connection Team or FAACT's Allergy Summit, where I got to spend some more time with Emery Brown, a school psychologist. Emery is such a great resource. She knows about FAACT way back to when she started with them as a volunteer teen counselor through their summer programs for Children, and now as their director of behavioral health. She brings to this position her own stories and experience of living as a young person and an adult with food allergies, and she has been working on creating an amazing resource center with so many things that I want you to check out and utilize. Emery and I talk about the experiences of children and families as they navigate anxiety. School challenges, the emotional side of living with food allergies, her interest in play therapy, I'm so excited to share our conversation with you today. I know you'll enjoy hearing from her just as much as I do.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 1:16

Emery, it's so good to see you again. Thanks for coming here onto the podcast to talk about all things, food allergies, school psychology, mental health, and behavioral health. I'm so excited to

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 1:25

Absolutely. I'm glad to be here.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 1:26

Let's start, by sharing your history and your personal experience that brought you into the food allergy world and community.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 1:33

Absolutely. So I was diagnosed with food allergies when I was eight months old because my aunt dropped ice cream on me when she was having some ice cream, and I broke out in hives. Thankfully, my parents already knew what food allergies were because of my sister who has a peanut, tree nut and soy allergy. So they, as soon as they saw the hives, they knew that it was probably food allergy and got me a. Appointment with an allergist where I was diagnosed with a anaphylactic dairy allergy. Luckily, obviously it was found out when it was dropped on my skin rather than ingested. I got an EpiPen and from there I was also diagnosed with an egg allergy that I outgrew when I was six years old. But then as time went on, I did also developed a peanut allergy, fish allergy, shellfish allergy and tree nut allergy. But I was able to outgrow shellfish as a young adult, and my last allergist appointment actually showed that I wasn't coming up allergic to finfish either. So I actually have an upcoming food challenge for that, which is really exciting. But when I was a young adult as well. While some of those allergies were going away, I also was diagnosed with my peanut allergy and treatment allergies in my twenties. So I've had lifelong allergies. I've never been without them, but they've changed over time. But basically been in the food allergy world since I was a child.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 2:49

that's so much change., A lot of people have food allergies and then maybe outgrow some of them, but Has it been hard to adjust throughout your life in terms of, I'm not allergic to this anymore, now I'm allergic to this and changing your routines.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 3:01

That's an interesting question and I would definitely say yes. I'd say it's a little bit easier for me because my sister has food allergies. All my cousins do, and while my sister's allergies haven't fluctuated, they were different than mine growing up. So we were used to kind of catering to different things. When I became allergic to peanuts at 21, it was definitely very upsetting because I. Loved peanut butter. That's all I could say, you know, because I have no you know, state of reference for my dairy allergy. I've always been allergic and I'm still allergic, but, you know, I had the taste, but all my cousins are allergic and so is my sister. So it wasn't that big of a deal. And I am married and my husband gave up all my food allergies and, you know, he didn't find it a shift at all. So it's kind of, I think when you're in the world, I always say. You find other things that you really like, and so at one time it felt like a big deal, but then as I found more and more things that I like as I got a passion for cooking, as I got a passion for finding restaurants that cater to multiple food allergies and special meals and this and that, it became a lot smaller of a deal.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 4:12

So there's just, there's an adjustment period as you find alternatives and maybe mourn a little bit some of the favorite foods when you lose

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 4:18

Definitely.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 4:19

That's tough.. I wanna get into your work at FAACT, but you just mentioned a couple things that I know people really love to hear about. And one of them is like relationships and, and marriage with food allergies. And I, you know, I think people feel discouraged about finding a partner who will accommodate them, but I meet so many young people who are like, yeah, my partner was like, no problem. So do you wanna talk about what that was like for you as you were growing up and getting into dating life?

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 4:41

This is definitely one of my favorite topics to address I started volunteering with FAACT and attending conferences related to food allergies ever since I was a kid. So now I'm on the other side of that as a professional and an adult and addressing kids and teens that. I used to sit in their seat and listen to other people that were in my seat talking about it. And I can remember being 12 and going to my first food allergy conference against my will. My parents made me go and I remember listening to different things about dating and school and field trips and eating out, and I didn't care about it at all. You know, it put it in my back pocket. Save it for another day. But I kept going back to the conferences. You make relationships with people and then there comes a point in your life where the things that you were learning become a applicable. And so I am glad that my parents made me go to those different things even before I was ready for it because I learned a lot of things that I definitely was able to apply later. A lot of food allergy parents say if someone doesn't respect your food allergies, then they're not gonna respect you. And I think that that is a really real statement. And previously to finding my husband, I dated people that were great about my food allergies, and I dated people that didn't care and. When I started dating my husband, he actually would drink half a gallon of milk a day. This man loved milk, and when we got engaged and obviously married, you know, he gave it up. Now he drinks about half gallon of oat milk, you know, and he says he can't even remember what milk tastes like anymore, probably for the best. But I think it's. Continually an important conversation to talk about because I do think a lot of people think that they have to settle or there's no way that that could happen to them. But I did mention my sister has food allergies as well, and her husband gave up her allergens as well. So this is something that I've seen happen for other people as well, and I like to caution parents too. That even if your kid is annoyed by having these conversations, they're important conversations to have. Because while I don't like to talk about the history before my husband, I actually have had a reaction kissing someone that had a milkshake before, and I well knew that they had one, but I just didn't think that it would happen. I knew. You're not supposed to do that. Right. But that current partner didn't really care and I wasn't gonna make it a big deal because I really wanted to date that person. And I did. I mean, it was a, it was not an anaphylactic reaction luckily, but it was still scary and still kind of, a wake up call for me that this does happen and maybe this person doesn't care about me the way that they should. And definitely my husband does. And if anything, he, sometimes, of course I take my food allergies really seriously, but sometimes I feel like he even takes them more seriously. And he's my biggest advocate. He never leaves the house without EpiPens in his pocket as well. He's a great supporter.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 7:32

Well, that's awesome. You make a good point, but it's one of those things. Sometimes teens just have to experience not just teens, everyone, humans have to experience things for themselves in order to learn. So we obviously don't wanna have them have a huge dangerous reaction. But like you said, having that knowledge beforehand when it wasn't necessarily time for it yet, but you had already been exposed to Ideas is a big help in terms of being prepared. Then when the moment comes, you still didn't obviously make the ideal decision, but you had some knowledge going into it and some preparation that. You know, I think probably was important in how you responded when you started to have a reaction.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 8:07

Absolutely. And I'm sure that you're familiar with the statistics about those risk taking ages and that like late teens into the early twenties is the biggest time we see risk taking when it comes to food allergy and lots of other things of course, as well. But I think. There's a kind of thing that we all say that I definitely agree with that food allergy kids tend to be more respectful. They are more responsible. They're reading ingredient labels, you know, they mature faster because they have this, you know. Health condition that they have to manage and they have to learn to do that well and independently, but at the same time, they're still a kid and they're still in those years. And I think a lot of parents might say, like, not my child, they wouldn't do that. I know my parents would've, you know, I was a high achieving high school student. I, you know, went to college on a scholarship and I took risks that I'm not proud of. And the reason that I share that is because I think you don't ever wanna think that your child is. Different in the way that they're not gonna go through that or fall to peer pressure or wanting to fit in. That's why we do have the conversations in advance, and that's why we have those conversations repeatedly with the hope that when our child is faced with a more problematic situation, whether it's kissing someone that ate an allergen or they're at a party and they don't know what's in a beverage, or they're at a restaurant that maybe they wouldn't have gone to otherwise because they don't have allergen protocols, they'll be prepared to make the right decision and the smart decision and the decision that ultimately keeps them safe.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 9:34

Yeah. I'm so glad you're sharing that. Thank you. Because I think it makes a good. Think of things so black and white and it's not just like, oh, they're a really good kid. I know they wouldn't do that. It is a phase of development, but it's actually like an important stage for kids to go through and develop. So if we can put some scaffolding and structure around it to help them do it more safely, yes. But they do still need to take risks and step out on their own and learn to make their own decisions. It's not that we just want them to do everything we say forever and not go through that teenage phase.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 10:01

Incredibly well said. And I actually think that that's, that's something that parents can really work to. What's an appropriate risk? Risk That doesn't come with any sort of consequences in the sense of they'll have an allergic reaction, but what's an appropriate risk that you can talk through with your child to get them to that next steps? State of development. So can it be that you are comfortable with them going out with their friends to their favorite safe restaurant and you don't need to be there because you know that they're gonna order the same thing that they always ordered. They're gonna ask the questions that you have watched them ask and train them to ask, and you're ready for them to do that on their own. Could it be that you feel like they can go to a new restaurant and order a safe item that. It doesn't contain their allergens. Even as an adult with food allergies I get nervous at new restaurants sometimes, you know? But sometimes I'll go to for that social situation with friends. But do you feel like that's a contained risk that you can allow your child to take because one day then you're not gonna be there? So. Containing a risk and kind of having it be a, you know, a safe test of what can they handle and can they actually implement the skills that you've helped them learn and you've taught them. That's a good thing that I would encourage parents to do.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 11:14

Yeah, definitely. Thank you for explaining that so clearly because it's so important and it's so hard for us to do as parents too, so we need the reminders all the time. One of the other things I wanted to touch on, a lot of the clients that I work with again, back to black or white thinking. Either think that their partners won't accommodate, and that that's gonna be so hard. I don't wanna disclose it. Or this idea that my partner must avoid and never eat all my allergens. And I just wanna emphasize, I think for people listening, it doesn't always mean they don't support you if they refuse to never eat your allergens again, right? Like you have to individually hash that out with someone that you're in a relationship, just like any topic between the two of you.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 11:52

Absolutely, and obviously the best conclusion is one that you both feel comfortable with. I'm actually obviously very happy that my husband gave up my food allergens, but if he was more comfortable as. You know, eating them when I'm away for trips or you know, if we know that he, you know, if he wanted to eat something for breakfast and he was gonna brush his teeth and you know, that. Six hour timeframe was gonna be long gone with double brushings until we were back together. I would be comfortable with that. It was my husband that wasn't, and he said something very powerful to me that, you know, he just wanted to, to make sure that there was nothing I ever had to second guess. And I think when you do sometimes have anxiety related to your food allergies, not having to second guess something is, you know, a huge relief. But I absolutely agree with you. It's whatever you as a couple. Both feel comfortable with without you sacrificing what ultimately makes you comfortable in this situation. Not that you're minimizing your partner, but you are the one that ultimately has to manage the food allergies and feel comfortable. So for me, I am excited that now I have my own house where there hasn't been a single allergen that's ever, you know, touched it. But I grew up in a house where my parents safely. Kept my allergens and they kept it separate from the things that I ate. Right? So this, I'm now an adult that's choosing what feels right for me with the support of my partner. But you are absolutely right. It's going to be different from everyone. And just because someone's partner does eat their allergens, it can still come with a huge amount of support and respect. It's what you're deciding for, the safety of both of you and the comfort of both of you. Absolutely.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 13:31

Absolutely, and, and you touched on a big part. Of what factors into that conversation. Safety obviously is the utmost important thing to establish in, in whatever you work out, but anxiety about food allergies plays such a big role and so I would love for you to talk about, you know, your role at FAACT in helping people with that and what you've learned since you've been in that role. Both as an individual living with it, and now professionally helping other people manage it.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 13:56

That's a great question. I. I think I developed the ability to help people with food allergies deal with anxiety for twofold. Number one, I was a kid, teen and now an adult that has anxiety surrounding my food allergies. But number two, I'm a school psychologist, and with that comes a lot of training in mental health and specifically helping people manage their anxiety, specifically in my case. Kids and teens. But with that, I was able to use my knowledge of that and serve my role at FAACT as the director of behavioral health to encapsulate kind of both the things, twofold, allergies and anxiety management, but learning to manage my own anxieties. Certainly, it's one thing when you. Professionally know it and have the knowledge from schooling and education. Another thing for actually helping people and see the results, but then I think it goes a step further because I've lived it and I can see the helpful results. So when it comes to managing food allergy related anxiety, I think that there's. Two parts that are important to talk about. Number one, the person that's dealing with the anxiety. But number two, if we're talking about a kid and teen, how the parent is reacting to that anxiety. I share this often. And so I can never share these podcasts with my parents. My parents are wonderful, but my mom is incredibly anxious about many things. So it didn't help when she had children that Had food allergies that just made her already existing anxiety worse. So a lot of my allergic reactions as a child, I can just remember a lot of anxiety from my mom, and that's really what I remember, which made me anxious maybe in times I didn't even have to be, or maybe in times where I could have used an anxiety management skill or a coping skill as we call it, to get through that a little bit better. We just didn't have that, and my mom didn't have that, and I don't blame her for it at that time. It wasn't a conversation that was really talked about, which is why I think it's great, you know, that you're, you're doing what you're doing with Don't Feed the Fear, and we're doing what we're doing over the behavioral health resource center at FAACT, and we're making these conversations. A part of the norm. We're making even in some cases, it a part of treatment plans, which I think is great because you manage your food allergies and you manage anxiety. Both things are managed and oftentimes they have to be managed simultaneously. So for myself and for what I tell others is. Get a coping skill and it's gonna be different for everyone. So my coping skill that works best for me is taking a walk or taking deep breaths. That's not the same for my husband. He would wanna do a task or he might wanna get outta the house but not take a walk or something like that when it comes for kids. So they might not have the same one as you. You might like to color draw, read a book, and your child might. Wanna go do some jumping jacks or they might wanna talk about it, although that's not as common of a coping scope for children that much. But most importantly, for kids that are aged, you know. One, I mean less than one. You know as well to eight, they need something called co-regulation, and that's where you do the coping skill with them. And I feel like that's a missing link a lot of the times because we'll say calm down or take a breath. Deep breath. But kids, up until age eight. Or before age eight, just don't have that ability. So they need someone to do it with you. Watch me, I'm gonna take a deep breath. Will you do it with me? Or remind me how old you are. You're five, and you hold up your hand and you see five candles and you say, can you blow out these candles? And you make it a little game. And oh, they only got two candles, and now they have all the candles. And you just took two really great breaths. Even as adults, sometimes we prefer co-regulation. Over using a regulatory coping skill for ourselves. Sometimes when I'm really upset, I mean, we don't get upset, right? I'll ask for a big hug from my husband, and that's a squeeze. That's regulation. Or sometimes I'll call my sister and I'll walk and talk because I do wanna talk to someone. I wanna get my body moving, but I don't wanna be just in my head with my thoughts. That's co-regulation. So if we still use co-regulation as an adult. All the more important that we need to make sure that we're providing that opportunity for co-regulation for our children for a parent to be a really effective regulator, they need to be able to regulate themselves. So the best thing to do when a child's dysregulated, when a child's upset, when a child's having anxiety, whether that's related to food allergy anxiety or not, a connected adult that is connected to their own emotion and not just kind of falling into the waves of their child's emotion, my child is anxious. I'm anxious. There's something really bad happening. Regulating yourself first. So you can effectively co-regulate is really important, and that means that the child the parent, the caregiver to that child, has these coping skills well developed as well. And they can be different than the style in which you're co-regulating with your child. If you know what your child likes on facts behavioral Resource Center, we have a fun. Kid friendly, A to Z coping skill checklist. So if you don't know what helps your child regulate, you could do a fun adventure as a family. Try a different coping skill every day, and X out the ones that you don't like, and circle the ones you do because sometimes we wanna fill a huge toolbox with a lot of skills when really you only need one or two, maybe three, that work consistently and that you can help your child master and that you can master for yourself.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 19:23

What you're explaining is so helpful because parents think they, have to make my child do this skill, but that is not the point when they're this young. It's literally they can only be calm and regulated. If we are calm and regulated, our bodies are connected. So what you're describing is, is doing the thing. It is calming yourself down and then with you, not you must do this skill. I'm still over here freaking out, but I'm gonna make you breathe and everything's gonna be

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 19:50

Yes.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 19:51

go in hand.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 19:52

That's so important to point out. And if you are the kind of parent, which a lot of our food allergy parents are, I just disclosed, so is my mom. So it's okay. There's no judgment here. But if you are the parent, that's also gonna be anxious too, coming down, using that co-regulation for yourself. So important, but also. Kids are masters at sensing out of someone is disingenuous. So if you say, you know, I'm not worried as you're shaking, or you know, you're crying and you're saying, no, no, I'm not scared. Don't, don't worry, like you're gonna be fine, but you know, you're crying or something like that, that's gonna be scary to a kid. And they're gonna say, oh no, no. It's not fine, something is wrong. You know you're crying. So the best thing to do is to recognize your feeling, recognize your child's feeling without reinforcing it. So I say recognize, don't reinforce. You're feeling really scared about trying a new restaurant. I'm feeling a little bit worried of you trying a new restaurant too. But we're gonna do X, Y, Z thing to make sure you're safe and I'm gonna be there with you. And so you can admit to being worried about something and recognize in your child rather than saying. You don't have to be worried we're gonna do this. No, they're probably going to be worried. And to a certain extent that worry is adaptive. It's serving as a protective feature for them so that you know they can prevent something bad happening. It's just when it kind of goes a little too far that we start having problems to manage, but recognizing that feeling, I'm worried about this, you're worried about this, or anxious or scared, or whatever, feeling you wanna substitute, overwhelmed, stressed, recognize it, and then say what you're going to do, rather than reinforcing that it's the correct feeling, you're gonna recognize that it is the feeling and what you're gonna do about it.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 21:35

Right, right. Because any adult understands, like any of us with our partner or our spouse, if I said, I'm anxious and I was bothered by something and they said, well, you shouldn't be, or, no, you're not, you're fine.. It's so invalidating, but we do stuff like that to kids all the time. Right. I, say this to my audience all the time, I experience anxiety too still, even though my son is doing really well. And even though we're in maintenance for treatments, anxiety just is going to come and go, just like any other feelings, but. I think as food allergy parents, especially food allergy moms, we know how bad it feels when someone says, well, stop being so anxious. You're making your kid anxious, but just telling me not to

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 22:15

Mm-hmm.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 22:16

doesn't make me not anxious. The same goes for our kids, right? We have to teach them and show them and guide them through how to do it. Like you said, we have to acknowledge it and say that it's valid and, and work on it to say the steps that we're doing to take care of it, not just push it aside or try to

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 22:32

Yes. And to be honest about it, you know, I do get worried when you go out with your friends, but I'm proud that you use the skills that we've gone over together, you know?

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 22:42

That's how they learn it, right? By seeing us do it.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 22:44

Absolutely. That modeling is, is really key.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 22:48

I would love it if you would tell us more There's so many resources that you've created Please tell the audience what else they will find if they go and look there.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 22:55

Yeah, so absolutely. So if you head over to FAACT's website, which is the Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis connection team, you'll see a whole behavioral health resource center that has different informational just informational sheets, as well as activities that have to do with navigating a new diagnosis, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, resilience. Coping skills, self care, the whole gamut of anything that deals with mental wellness that's gonna be in there. The A to Z checklist that I talked to you about that's in there as well as different sheets for families, kids, teens, adults with food allergies and caretakers. So it's across the lifespan that these resources address, because kids with food allergies becomes teens with food allergies who often become adults with food allergies. And as I mentioned a little bit earlier, the caretaker or the parent can't be left out of this equation either because a lot of the time we do really focus on. Treatment management for the child, anxiety management for the child, without talking about those same things, for whoever is caretaking for that child, anxiety management for them, coping skills for them, self care for them and all of these things. So we're addressing the whole lifespan. Anybody that. Could need those things, those things are on there for them as well as for other comorbid conditions. So we do talk a lot about anxiety and food allergies, but it's also not uncommon to suffer from depression or be at a higher risk for an eating disorder when it comes to having a food allergy. And I think those are important topics to talk about and address and for parents to be aware of, to look for warning signs Children that have anxiety are at a higher risk for depression when they're in a teen and an adult. So even if that's not a concern now, if you're seeing anxiety, it could be a concern later. And that's not said to scare anybody, but it's said to, that's why we develop coping skills. That's why we develop self-care and put protective factors in place like a community or therapy or, parents that parents, you know, are open and talking about feelings. All these things, good friends that understand your food allergies, all these serve as protective factors that can be preventative from any of that ever happening. And then lastly, which I do love to talk about, is there's an area about resilience. And resilience is just a big, fancy word for the ability to bounce back in the face of adversity. And we know as parents, caregivers, kids, adults, whoever's watching the podcast today professionals that. Deal with food allergies. We need resilience because hard things do happen and when we have the right things in place, hopefully they don't, but the hard things and are not always as serious as an anaphylactic reaction. Sometimes the hard things are your friend's birthday party taking place at a sushi restaurant and you have a fish or shellfish allergy. Sometimes the hard things is, you know, the work party ordering pizza and. You know, they forgot you. They forgot about you, and you have a dairy allergy, right? Like myself or whatever it may be. And you need resilience to be able to bounce back from that and keep going and it not, you know. Drag you down. So there's information on resilience, but there's also a downloadable kit that is meant for families to complete together. You could print it, it comes with coloring pages and activity sheets, and there's affirmations, which is just positive things that you can say. So we like to change negative self-talk to positive self-talk, so, you know. Thinking something after, you know, a birthday party doesn't have a cake, that you can have a negative thought pattern. Might be, my friends don't really care about me. Well, we know that that's an extreme and that would be a thinking trap. And that's, you know, probably not the reaction that's gonna be helpful. But it affirmation could be, I have really good friends or. I have a family that cares about me, or I can have a safe snack later. So whatever it might be. So there's affirmations that you can color and cut out, hang them up on your fridge or in the bathroom mirror. You wanna practice those with your children. There's also worksheets of with what if scenarios. What if you couldn't have the snack that was brought to school? What would you, what would you do? And you're doing this as a family. So then, you know, mom might say, I would do this. Dad might say I would do this. Sister might say, I would do this. And you talk about it as a family. All these skills help build resilience. Right. In some ways I wish I didn't have food allergies because life would be easier. I mean, I could go to restaurants without worry. I could take something off the shelf without worry. But, or, and. I wouldn't have met the people that I have. I wouldn't have met you. Right. We wouldn't have got connected to do this podcast today. I have lifelong friends, my college roommate and friend. I attended her wedding a couple weeks ago. She and I met at a teen, a preteen conference when we were 11. We would've never met, if it hadn't been for food allergies. My husband and I travel with another girl that I met at Camp Tag. We were both counselors. So through these different stages of life, so many key people to me I wouldn't have met if I didn't have food allergies. So we need that resilience because the fact, the unchanging fact, unless we outgrow our food allergies, is we do have food allergies. So what is the good that we can find from that? And there is a lot of good to be found.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 28:10

There are so many things in what you just said that I wanna touch on. You caught. Yourself, you said, but, and then you said, and you changed it to and because that and makes such a big difference, right? The language you use is so important. I can feel the disappointment and the sadness about all these things and recognize and hold space

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 28:26

Hmm.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 28:26

of those. Thank you for giving an example of how that's true because you are holding space for all of those things. That's how life is, right? This big full experience with the hard parts and the ability to recognize the growth and the benefits that are. Connected to it.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 28:41

Yes. And I think even teaching, I'm sure you talk to your clients about it and I use this with my students as well, but I don't get the same opportunity you do to work so much every day with clients with food allergies. But that dialectic of putting in that and can be very powerful because not only do we dismiss others with the butt, but we dismiss ourselves. And I think, you know, I did struggle for a while of like. Can I feel like I don't want my food allergies and feel glad that I have them for the certain extents of opportunities that come along have come along, would I change it? You know? And those are, those are hard. And I, I am grateful for the people that being a part of the food allergy community has brought into my life. And, you know, I do hope that there's a day when food allergies aren't as prevalent or, you know, can be managed in a different way too. And I do. Put in that and, and I think a lot of your listeners would start to kind of feel the relief and feel better to allow themselves the space to put in an, and I'm worried about my child, and I believe that they can grow up to be an independent, successful adult that manages their anxiety and their food allergies well.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 29:52

Right. And it just takes time to

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 29:53

Mm-hmm.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 29:53

I'm not saying, and I know you're not saying the day your child's diagnosed, you

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 29:57

No, no, no. Of course not. Yes.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 30:00

take time. But there's, there's hope. It, it grows. You grow. Around your challenge, just like everybody else and their challenges that they have. There's one more piece of what you said that I don't wanna lose that I think is so important that you were emphasizing doing and practicing the skills before they are needed. We have to practice. Stuff before the moment arrives where we need it. Because once we're already in a dysregulated state, we're not gonna be able to access it. Remember it. It's not a safety signal to our bodies. So I just, I think you are hitting that point home. And I wanted to too. We, we just have to practice just like we would practice any other skill, right.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 30:37

So well said. And that's exactly right. And I would suggest making it a part of your routine in a fun way. And this is from my own experience, and also working with some teens with food allergies as over the years as part of my role with FAACT, we can get a certain resistance from children and teens when it comes to, Hey, we need to talk about this. Like, let's sit down. Blah, blah. And it's, it's kind of, it's forced, it's uncomfortable at times. It could be a little bit awkward and the parent's gonna be dismissed. The child might not remember it. But if you can make it routine and have it be for, if you have multiple children and some have food allergies and some not. Have it be a family practice rather than just a practice specifically for your food allergic child as well. Because, let's face it, everyone needs coping skills. It's just certainly gonna help in specific situations for people with food allergies and have it be a part of your routine. Maybe before you have dinner, you say an affirmation or maybe after dinner every night or every other night or something once a week, if that works for your schedule. You take a walk or when you wake up before you send your kids out the door to the bus, everybody takes a deep breath, kind of like an exit ticket from the house. You breathe out when you leave, you breathe in when you come back. And it doesn't have to be okay, this is what you would do if you had a reaction, or this is what we would do if you, you know needed to go to the restaurant or your waiter brought the wrong food, but you didn't need it. You know, you wouldn't do it in that high pressured scenario. You would have it be a part of practice and. You would have them use it too, not only in those, we call them like non escalated times, or, you know, the regulated times or when a child's calm, whatever you wanna refer to it as. You can also use it in, in moments that. Have everyday anxiety. Your child has a project coming up, they're nervous for a math test. You know, you wanna show them, you said this earlier, anxiety is a feeling that comes and goes like any other feeling. So anxiety is gonna come and go as it relates to food. Allergies and anxiety is gonna come and go as it relates to daily things, or not even daily, but just things that hope happen over time. You know, anxiety on a math test eventually. Becomes anxiety for a big meeting, right? And anxiety for a big meeting might eventually come into anxiety about, you know, which new car should I buy that, you know, or, or, you know, marriage or house or having a child, whatever it might be, right? Through the stages of life, the things that make us anxious come and go. Things that make us happy, come and go, or the things that we get jealous of, come and go. All these things are just a state, and I love how you said that earlier. And the same is true for anxiety. So if we can also for our children with food allergies, not just focus on. That's the only time to practice. Or if we're doing scenarios, which I think is a great thing to do, role play. If you have little kids incorporate puppets or they're stuffed animals, that's a great thing. Don't just do food allergy related examples. Certainly do them, but also include other examples so that they see, oh, this isn't just an emotion that I feel as it relates to my food allergies. I was anxious before this test and it went well. I can be anxious before a food challenge and it go well, right? Or these different things like that.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 33:46

Thank you so much for explaining that it's so important and it's just a life skill we need, like you said, everybody needs it. No reason to single out our food allergy kiddos anymore than they already get

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 33:55

That's true. Yes.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 33:56

at them. So I would love for you to talk a little bit more about your role as a school psychologist. I think, you know, as you said, it's not specific to food allergies, but I don't think a lot of people really know what a school psychologist is unless they have a kid who's specifically been involved with certain services at school.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 34:14

Absolutely. So my tagline for how I explain what a school psychologist is, is we help children emotionally, behaviorally, academically, and socially. So across the gamut, you know, school psychologists. Wear many hats. A main role that you might think of when it comes to a school psychologist is they also serve as case managers for children with individualized education plans or IEPs. So if you have a special education child, that might be a term that you're familiar with case manager's job, or to ensure the effective implementation of that IEP, but also school psychologists are mental health professionals, so we provide. Individual counseling. We provide group counseling, class lessons. Some school psychologists are also involved with 5 0 4, which many food allergy parents might be familiar with. If your child has a 5 0 4 plan for food allergies. In my district, I'm not the 5 0 4 coordinator, but I do often sit on 5 0 4 meetings because I sometimes counsel students that have a 5 0 4 plan. So that's an important part. Of things. I started my career as a traditional school psychologist, but I became my district's comprehensive mental health specialist. So now I exclusively do mental health in my district because I'm a school-based registered play therapist as well. And play is obviously a powerful learning tool, but it's also a powerful healing tool, which is why I have essentially changed over. The way that I do counseling within the school space to that. And my credentialing as a school psychologist allowed me to take on this role at as fact, at fact as the director of behavioral health. So, you know, many years ago I would speak at fact, you know, just as a person with food allergies. And that's why I love the lifespan continuum because. I, I became, was a kid, became a teen, became a young adult, became a professional, and now I get to work in, in a space that I have professional knowledge about and personal knowledge about. So it's incredibly fulfilling to me. But back to the role of a school psychologist you know, I get to actually be hands-on. Boots on the ground giving mental health services through specifically play therapy. Almost a hundred percent at my district. So while a school psychologist wears many hats, I now kind of have stuck to one. Because mental health really just became a passion out of all those different things. So I do do intelligence testing and academic testing. I work with the special education population. I do gifted testing, all these different things, but my main wheelhouse now is mental health services through the vesicle of play therapy and San Tray for some older children as well. And it is incredibly fulfilling work and I, that's why I said earlier that it's not just that I've lived these things, which I think is important, but I've seen strategies work. The strategies that we're talking about the strategies that you talk about a lot, Amanda, the strategies that are on facts website. I've seen them work. I've seen them work for kids with food allergies. I've seen them work without. So I love being a school psychologist and I do think that a lot of kids, teens out there who grow up to be people that like helping people because people have helped them. And you know, I just feel like people with food allergies have that kindhearted helping nature. School psychology is a great career option for yeah, we need, we have a shortage of school psychologists. We could definitely use more young people going into the profession.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 37:29

Yeah, to parents if you're trying to encourage your kids what fields to go into. Like all the school psychologists are retiring now, so we need them. And so your position sounds like a such a dream job though. I, I, a lot of districts don't have a school psych in that role specifically, so that's amazing for you. It sounds great.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 37:47

Yes. So actually in New Jersey, they're, they're pushing for more mental health. But this role is unique to my district and I'm hopeful that more school psychologists will get this opportunity and be recognized for the advanced mental health training that they have. New Jersey released a guide to multi-tiered approach for mental health within the schools. So some districts are trying to be able to fulfill that by adding more mental health professionals in the school which means that more. More kids are gonna get access to things they need. And that it's gonna go for kids that have food at Archie's as well, because we know that school can be an environment and setting where, you know, the parent's not there. So the parent might feel anxious and the child doesn't have as much control because you, I mean that's, that's a whole nother conversation about control within, you know, the school setting. But food is involved in the school setting, so it can be a place for where food allergic children have more anxiety. So when there's mental health providers in the space that are equipped to help obviously in my case, I, you know, am equipped specifically for food allergies as well. But, you know, I obviously think there's a realm for professional development for school professionals, for handling anxiety when it comes when as it relates to food allergies. But it can be an anxiety provoking space. So I am definitely supportive of more mental health professionals knowing about food allergies and being in the schools to help children with anxiety.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 39:09

Absolutely. That's gotta be so helpful. The time when this episode is going to be out is the time of year where, okay, we've, we've gotten into school, we're doing the routine, and now is when the concerns start to arise, right? Referrals start coming in. Certainly it won't be everyone, but for parents who might either have their own concerns about their kids wondering if they need more evaluation for any type of a concern in the classroom, or if someone at the school has approached you and said. have this concern with your child and here's what we wanna do. Could you just tell them a little bit about that process to make it a little less foreign and scary to parents

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 39:45

Absolutely. I think it's scary because it's just another unknown, right? And food allergy parents might be used to having to deal with unknowns and unpredictability and things coming up. But I also know when, let's just say you're worried about your child's mental health, or you're worried about their academic performance, or someone brings that worry to you, that's just another unexpected that can. You know, start the spiral of, okay, now there's just another thing on my plate. So, number one, utilize your coping skills. That's a great opportunity to use it, but just like we combated mental health stigma for so many years, there's, you know, academic stigma, f. For learning disabilities or needing IEPs. That still exists, some places that stigma, but I look at it as a way to get the help that your child needs. Specifically. It's individualized. It's if you're, if we're talking about an IEP, obviously 5 0 4 is different, so we're talking, does your child need accommodations or modifications within the school? If you have concerns, the best thing to do would be to reach out to your child's teacher first, because the teacher might say, well. You know, we haven't discussed X, Y, Z yet, or you know, they're a little bit behind right now, but let's wait till after the next test to kind of see if we need to do something. But then you would go to your child study team. If you're, if you're concerned, there's no harm in reaching out. There's a lot of scary discourse online about, you know, you gotta come prepared to fight or you know, this or that. And unfortunately, I know that there are experiences where parents have had to do that. And that makes me sad as a person on the child study team because I know how my district and our team operates and our only goal is to help the child and in turn, help the family. Right. And that's, I. Would hope to think is the heart of most school professionals that are sitting on a child study team. So go, hopefully you can go in with that and not feel scared to just reach out and ask a question. They'll hold a meeting. State to state, there's different regulations of how quickly you have to have that meeting or who has to be there. So I won't speak to that. But they will have to honor that and hold a meeting and discuss. They'll present you with different things. Oh, this is your child's benchmarking. Your child is in X, Y, Z percentile. Which means, you know, if your child's in the. 10th percentile. If you lined up a hundred kids that child's age, they would only do better than 10 of them. So you know, that's not that great. Or if your child's in the 83rd percentile in that same a hundred kid lineup, they'd do better than 83 of them. So that's. Your child's above average, right? With 50 being in the average. So hopefully your child study team would be explaining these different things, but I would say don't be afraid to reach out. Your 5 0 4 coordinator would be who you would reach out to if you don't already have a 5 0 4 for food allergies, or if you do, if your child does have another co-occurring condition like a DHD or anxiety or another health condition. I think that it's important to have those things documented so that you can legally ensure that your child's getting the support that they need. Sometimes, I'm just gonna use the example of A DHD. Sometimes your child would need an IEP because they're presenting as a need for specially designed instruction. Sometimes they wouldn't, sometimes they just need different accommodations, like sitting closer to the teacher or, someone monitoring their organization or having a wobble seat, right? These aren't, these aren't modifications or changes to the way something's being presented. They're just little adjustments that's gonna help your child succeed. So don't be afraid to reach out to support. Don't be afraid to go to your child's teacher. I know that it can be scary and that you might just feel like it's another thing piling on, but the people at school really wanna help you and obviously you really wanna help your child. So the supports exist. In schools for a reason, and the systems exist in schools for a reason and there's gonna be people there that are gonna wanna walk you through those systems so that your child can get what they need.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 43:25

Definitely. Just to clarify What are some other terms? Child study team The committee on special Education.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 43:30

There's so many different acronyms when it comes to special education related services, counseling, whatever it may be. So. You're gonna wanna look for something in the Student Services department. It could be special education team, could be INRS, which is Intervention and referral services. It could be referred to as that 5 0 4 is definitely gonna be universal, so there's definitely gonna be a 5 0 4 director, co, or coordinator. Intake coordinator, plug whatever you want to after that. But I would always recommend going to the teacher first because the teacher's gonna have the most holistic view of your child and know your child best, and your, the teacher's gonna for sure be on your team. So go to them first. And if there is a different acronym or a different team, some sub states well actually all states, like if you're looking at. Some sort of specific learning disability of some kind. You have to try different interventions first before you would ever go to things. And that's true even for other conditions like anxiety, A DHD, you're gonna wanna actually try interventions. So a lot of places might have some sort of intervention team and they call that lots of different things. So go to your teacher first and they're gonna point you in the right direction if you're asking the right question. So if your right questions are, I'm looking for help for my child for X, y, Z thing, they're gonna point you in the right direction for sure.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 44:47

Great point. That's your touch point for the most part, because they know your child better than anyone else in the school. Right. Thank you for clarifying. It's overwhelming. I feel like we could do a whole month's worth of. Episodes on that

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 44:57

Absolutely.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 44:58

Yeah, thank you for sharing that. We skipped over talking about Camp Tag, that FAACT holds, and I would love to make sure we get a little bit in on that and maybe even next year we can do a more in depth chat. But you're, you are a former camper and counselor and obviously now with the organization, I can't think of anyone better than you to tell everybody what Camp Tag is.

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 45:18

Thank you and absolutely I think that everyone should know about Cant tag if you have a child with food allergies. I definitely consider sending your child to Camp tag. There's also scholarships for Camp Tag as well. So it's certainly, definitely accessible and is in several locations across the United States. Camp TAG stands for the Allergy Gang and it services kids from age four to 13. So it's a wide age range, but kids that are 14 and beyond are not left behind because that's the time that they can be counselors. So actually the first year that camp Tag. Was, you know. In action. I was actually 14, so I started as a counselor. I was just shy by a year to be able to be a camper, and I still am a little bit upset that I never got the true chance to be a camper. But the way that we run the teen counselors is they, they lead a group of kids in that four to 13 age group. You get assigned an age group and that is gonna be your counseling group. For the week. But the teens still get to participate in the activities as much as possible. So really when you're a teen, you still are getting a camp experience as well, because we have people that are on staff and adults that are counselors we call them leaders that help for the week as well. This upcoming year. We're gonna be in Nashville and Ohio again. It's a powerful time for not only kids with food allergies, but their siblings as well. So you can be a camper or a counselor if you are a. Someone that has a sibling with food allergies as well. It's a time for the whole family, so we're not gonna leave anybody out. If you are a part of a household that's managing food allergies, you're definitely welcome to be there. But it's a camp where. You can have fun just like any other camp, we say 95% fun, 5% education. So from zip lining to playing gaga to arts and crafts, this is a true camp. But that 5% of education is something so unique to Camp Tag that you're not gonna be able to get anywhere else. The teen counselors lead this. We talk about bullying, we talk about. Anxiety. We talk about managing your food allergies, recognizing the signs and symptoms of anaphylaxis, and we know that parents are talking about this in their home, but it's a whole nother thing to talk about it with kids your age and then see someone older than you who's effectively managing. Those allergies, it's really powerful. For some of our kids it's, you know, some of the only times that they're around people with multiple food allergies like them. You can have one allergy, you can have multiple again to be part of the camp. But for kids that are managing multiple food allergies. It's some of the first time that they're, they're sitting with a whole room of all people that are going through something the same as them. Our snacks are free of the top nine major allergens. Last year our safe snack was sponsored by Red Plate Foods. And. We are in a room where everyone is eating the same snack. That's unheard of for a kid or a teen with food allergies, right? Even those moments are just so special and so unique to the experience. So if you're listening and you have a kid or teen that's in that four to 13 age range, or 14 to 18 for a counselor, definitely look at our website. Stay tuned for upcoming dates for 2026.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 48:26

Yes, and make plans now because everybody's summers are busy, but this is the have that on your radar I love that aspect of this because everyone in the family is impacted by food allergies, not just. The individual who has them. So what an amazing program. You have created so many great resources, Emery. I appreciate all of the work and everything you're putting out there for everybody. I will put links to everything in the show notes so that it's easy for people to find

Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., NCSP: 48:49

Well, thank you so much. I appreciate what you're doing too. I mean, I love your podcast and thank you so much for having me on.

48:54

As we wrap up, here are three action steps that you can take to follow up on today's conversation with Emery. Number one, follow FAACT If you do not already, their website is food allergy awareness.org. You'll find them if you search by name on Facebook and on Instagram they're at FAACT News. FAACT is spelled with two a's number two, Once you've made sure that you're following them, so that you don't miss anything, go to their website and click on the heading Behavioral Health. In this section, you'll see what I'm talking about. This amazing behavioral health resource center that Emery has created, and number three, if you're not already connected with me on social media, you can find me by searching for Amanda Whitehouse, the food allergy psychologist on Facebook or on my Instagram.@thefoodallergypsychologist, i'll be sharing lots of highlights and some of my favorite content from the FAACT Allergy Summit If you weren't able to join us there, you can check out what you've missed and start thinking about whether you'd like to plan ahead and join us next year. in what is really an inspiring and a validating weekend with community. As always, thank you so much for listening. I hope you're finding the show helpful, and if you are, I would appreciate a rating or a review and if you would share the episode with anyone you think would enjoy listening too the content of this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any questions about your own medical experience or mental health needs, please consult a professional. I'm Dr. Amanda Whitehouse. Thanks for joining me. And until we chat again, remember don't feed the fear.