Food Allergies and Kissing Part 3: Charlotte's Story

This episode is the third in a series of recent discussions about Food Allergies and Intimacy. I encourage you to listen to Parts 1 and 2 to provide the medical background and social/emotional context for this episode.

In this deeply touching conversation, I sit down with Portia Barton, whose tween daughter Charlotte tragically died in 2022 from a mysterious allergic reaction. While she shared part of the story at the time, understandably some details remained unclear as the family processed and mourned their child's death, and gathered information trying to understand the events that led to her passing.  Portia now feels ready to share the full story in order to inform and protect the food allergy community. 

This episode is a quiet conversation with powerful resonance. Portia's courage in sharing her story invites empathy and fosters awareness that intimacy with food allergies can have life-and-death consequences.

Trigger Warning:
This episode contains detailed discussion of the events leading to the tragic death of a child due to an allergic reaction triggered by a kiss. This description may be distressing—please listen with care and consider skipping if you're experiencing the loss of a loved one or have young children present. This episode may be best processed with supportive company. 

Please know that we did not share this conversation in order to shock or ignite fear in the food allergy community. Instead, we feel this is important information for young people and parents to understand in order to grasp the reality of the potential risks of kissing with food allergies.

Portia has generously made herself available to any questions/discussions that the audience may have. Please be respectful and considerate of the family's loss in any comments shared with her directly or on social media. 

You can follow Charlotte's legacy here:
 About | Live Like Charlotte
@livelikechar
 
You can follow Portia's grief journey on social media @iamportiabarton

Thank you again to Portia for sharing this important story.  💙 

Special thanks to Kyle Dine for permission to use his song The Doghouse for the podcast theme!
www.kyledine.com

Find Dr. Whitehouse:
-thefoodallergypsychologist.com
-Instagram: @thefoodallergypsychologist
-Facebook: Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, Food Allergy Anxiety Psychologist
-welcome@dramandawhitehouse.com

Transcript

Speaker: 0:01

Welcome to the Don't Feed the Fear podcast, where we dive into the complex world of food allergy anxiety. I'm your host, Dr. Amanda Whitehouse, food allergy anxiety psychologist and food allergy mom. Whether you're dealing with allergies yourself or supporting someone who is, join us for an empathetic and informative journey toward food allergy calm and confidence..

0:26

Many of us in the food allergy community know the story of a little girl in Texas named Charlotte, with severe eczema, food allergies, asthma, and eoe. Unfortunately, in 2022 when she was 12 years old, Charlotte passed away from a severe food allergy reaction, understandably, Charlotte's family has been grieving and processing their loss. They shared some of the details around Charlotte's death at that time, but Charlotte's mom, Portia Barton, reached out to me and wanted to share more details about the full story and the events that led up to Charlotte's passing in order to protect and benefit others in the food allergy community as much as possible. I do wanna give a trigger warning that Portia discusses the details about the day that Charlotte died, which obviously might be distressing for many people to listen to, so please don't listen with young children around and please use your own judgment if you feel that's a helpful thing for you to listen to at this point in time or not. I have so much appreciation for Portia for being here to share this story.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 1:24

Portia, it's been wonderful to meet you. Thank you so much for reaching out to me. I know you have a lot of your story about your beautiful daughter, Charlotte, that you wanted to share with the food allergy community, Would you mind saying, how we got in contact with each other and decided to do this episode?

Portia Barton: 1:39

Yeah, Yeah, sure. So, um, thank you so much for having me. I'm on Instagram and, um, a couple different social media platforms and I came across your content, about kissing with food allergies it really just hit home with me. I haven't seen a whole lot of content around this and I feel like it's such an important topic to to discuss. especially. For, people with food allergies, parents and caregivers of those with food allergies, and how people just don't always know the seriousness of what it can lead to. And so, yeah, I just felt like in my heart to connect and yeah. Here we are. So

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 2:27

Yeah, well.

Portia Barton: 2:28

shining a light on this important topic.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 2:31

Yes, thank you. It resonated so much was so many people. And that's where Charlotte was right on the cusp of these teenage years where everything is changing and there's so much new. Stuff and independence.

Portia Barton: 2:43

Yeah. yeah, Charlotte, was 12 years old, and she was in seventh grade. Charlotte is my, fifth child, my baby girl. And she was born, on New Year's day of 2010. she was. About five weeks old and I was nursing her and, she was not really gaining weight like she should have been. and of course I'm trying to make all the milk and I'm eating all the things, peanut butter, eggs, I mean all this protein rich allergic type foods. and Charlotte's broke out into eczema all over her body. and it became infected with staph. so here is my five week old newborn baby with horrible rashes of eczema, infected with staph and like she was just not gaining weight. she ended up at the ER and they admitted her right away. And she was kind of a mystery to the doctors because they had to run, numerous tests and she saw numerous doctors to try to, see what was going on. And through a process of elimination of a bunch of serious diseases, they're like, your daughter has food allergies? And I'm like, what? I mean, it was such an eye-opening time. I will say food allergies runs in our family on both my husband and my side of the family. and so, okay, we have a baby that has food allergies and so this is new, but she was in the hospital for about, um, seven or eight days. put her on a special elemental formula

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 4:26

Mm-hmm.

Portia Barton: 4:27

her gain weight. Um, and I was, while I was, she was in the hospital, like I, they put me on a strict diet too, because I was nursing, but I, I could not keep up. I stopped nursing. Um, she was doing so good on the formula, like you could just see that it was really helping her and giving her that nourishment that I just couldn't make without eating the things that she was allergic to. And so, we became a food allergy family with this tiny, tiny baby. She did get better. And we slowly, very, very slowly introduced foods to her. Um, she had a blood test when she was about nine months old, and, you know, it, it showed us like what all she was allergic to So we knew from early on. I guess the reaction was kind of a blessing in disguise, like what not to feed her. very early on. So she was on the Elecare for like a while. introducing foods was, a very difficult and. Different process for me, uh, compared to my other children, but we had the help of doctors, telling us what to do and what not to do and things. She was allergic to. Eggs, um, dairy, and she couldn't have baked eggs or. scrambled eggs, dairy, um, peanuts, all nuts. Fish, shellfish. Um, she, she could eat wheat and soy, which. I'll take it. my daughter has, um, celiac, my older daughter, so I, I know wheat can be an issue, but I was thankful that she could have soy and wheat with no complications.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 6:01

You know, work with what you've got and feed your baby.

Portia Barton: 6:04

yeah, exactly. she did really good. when she was four, I had taken her to see her allergy doctor, and she was like, well, has she done a baked egg challenge and I'm like, well, no. I mean, we just, we avoid, like we, we strictly avoid all, you know, the things that she can't have. And she's like, well, I would try to make a baked item give her a little piece of it at home. And I was like, okay. She's like, just have your EPIs close by. And I was like, okay. Um, so I did that, and immediately. she started to struggle. And so she was epi'd then. Yeah. And then, and when I looking down the road, that should have been done in a doctor setting. Um, but you do what you, you do what?

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 6:53

Did what the doctor told you. be doing? Yes. Yes. So yes. So, um, so yes. And then, so Charlotte started kindergarten. Um, we were in a very great nut free school district. Um, she sat at the allergy friendly table, sometimes by herself, um, in her younger grades, but she always took her lunch. She never bought lunch. Um, she, you know, she very early on, like, knew what she could and she couldn't have, and you know, if somebody came around her with their snack at their table and, and she was like, you need, I'm allergic to that and you need to take that somewhere else. she was not scared to tell anybody to back up.

Portia Barton: 7:33

I mean, all through school there were never any. accidents or anything like that. And there were some times where she would smell certain things and they would, make her feel like she was, had, that she was wheezing sometimes with certain things, but throughout school, up until seventh grade, she was safe. Um, and everything was really great. So, so, yeah. And then, um. Just a little bit of a backstory. My family moved in 2020, like Right. during COVID, um, from like our, our family home where we grew our family, and we, we downsized. We, we went to another school district over in Charlotte, started fifth grade in a, in a new school district. Um, she finished one year of fifth grade and elementary, and then the following year she went to, um, a middle school. So she started middle school for sixth grade. and. I wanna say from after that fifth grade year, kind of into middle school she really, Started to blossom a, a personality of what she would be as a teenager. I mean, and, and it was kind of early on, I think, a little bit, but she has adults, older siblings that she saw them just living their best life as. You know, teens. Um, and she wanted to do that too. Like, she would try to wear makeup and she would, you know, take pictures and, and do things that, that her older siblings were doing. And so sometimes she, she did, you know, she seemed more mature, I would say, um, than maybe another, um, 11 or 12-year-old. so. So Charlotte was a super smart kiddo. Um, she was in the spelling bee finals in fourth grade. She was a girl scout, in her younger years she loved music and she loved her family and her friends of course too. And, um, she just was the overall. Pretty great kiddo. she didn't get in trouble a whole lot and she was a great big sister to her younger brothers. Um, she was like little mommy to them, especially, um, Brandon who came, she was born in 2010 and he was born in 2013. And so they were like two peas in a pod. I mean, she helped potty train him. We found out Brandon had food allergies, she just kind of like took him under her, her little big sister wing and you know, she was making herself food. She was making him food, she was reading him books, and then she was just a really good big sister to her little brothers. but you know, going into sixth grade she would. would be like, y'all are getting on my nerves. Get outta here. She was just. know, taking chances in her words and like saying new things and just,

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 10:24

Experimenting.

Portia Barton: 10:25

Yeah, just feeling out like, what am I gonna do today? Like, what can I do different today? And that was Charlotte. she was always evolving and ever changing and stuff. So. September, uh, well she started seventh grade in August of 2022. My husband and I are working at home and um, Charlotte calls me. On my phone and sometimes, like I, I didn't answer the phone. Um, sometimes she would just like, call me from school, burp in my ear, laugh and hang up. Okay. Like, and

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 10:57

A.

Portia Barton: 10:58

Yes. And I just thought, oh my gosh. I, you know, and I, I was just in the middle of doing something and so she, she texted me, 9 1 1, I need you to pick up. And so she called me right back and she was hysterical. She was crying. She was like, mom, I accidentally ate a piece of candy. I wasn't supposed to. And I'm like. Okay. Where are you? She's like, I'm at the nurse. Um, and so she gives me the, she gives her phone to the nurse and I, and I start carrying on a conversation with the nurse. Meanwhile, my husband and I are getting in the car to go to the school'cause it's super close. And, um, the nurse is like, so she, she's okay. She's not in respiratory distress right now. She, she said her throat feels tight. I had her brush her teeth. I gave her some Benadryl. Do you want me to call an ambulance or do you want us to wait for you here? And I'm like, we'll be right there. We're on our way. And so we get to the school and Charlotte was hesitant about taking her EpiPen'cause she had a fear of having an EpiPen. So super quick chat. Her dad gave her her EpiPen and she was like, oh my gosh. Like that was nothing that was not as bad as I thought it was gonna be. And so what had happened is some friends like had a bag of candy that had things in it that she couldn't have, but there was also Skittles in the bag. And, so she accidentally grabbed a sweet tart, which has egg whites in it, Charlotte was allergic to eggs. So that's what caused that first reaction was accidentally eating a sweet tart and not a skittle.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 12:35

Okay.

Portia Barton: 12:36

So right there, Charlotte had her EpiPen. we waited there, and we sat there for a little while with her. she was great. She like, she recovered beautifully and she was so proud of herself and she's like, I just wanna go home and go to bed. And, and so we took her home. the nearest hospital from us is like four minutes away. So. I didn't hesitate taking her home because the hospital was super close so she came home, she put Fuller house on, on the couch. She watched some fuller house and she fell asleep for hours. Um, I had slept out on the couch out there with her that night so I could keep an eye on her and stuff. And she was just pretty, she was pretty drowsy. She didn't really want to eat dinner or she was just like, she just slept. And so the next morning, September 27th um. Charlotte was like hemming and hawing about not wanting to go to school, and I'm like, you need to go to school. Like I'll, I'll email your PE teacher so you don't have to do any strenuous activity or whatever. And so we did that. went to school texting me, wanting to make plans do things after school and she did fine. She did fine. Throughout the day at school. Um, she got home and she had a little boyfriend who was a grade above her. he was gonna come over and hang out I knew this boy, I knew his parents and his mother, his mother graciously Thoughtfully contacted me and called me saying, I'm going to Sam's. What can I get Charlotte to eat? I'm gonna make dinner. What can she have? What, what can I make for her that's safe? So conversations were had. Everybody knew about Charlotte's food allergies. Um. Awkward conversations were had too about kissing and what to do and what not to do, and toothbrushing and mouthwash and those conversations were had. Um, and so, so fast forward to the evening, he comes over. all hanging out. messing with the dogs. The, the, the boys, my, their younger brother were bothering them. And so, I mean, it was just a normal evening. it was just like any other night, you know? And so I start making dinner. And I go in there and I'm like, you guys want some dinner? I'm cooking dinner. And um, and Charlotte's like, just save me A. plate. I'll eat later or whatever. And so I did. And then, um, this boy's like, no ma'am, I already ate before I came. You know, my mom took me to get some food on the before I came. And I'm like, Okay. so a little bit of time goes by. it's time for him to go home. and his mom is on his way to pick him up. My husband and I are like just sitting down from the day, um, and we hear the nebulizer come on in the living room we both go out there and, Charlotte's getting on the nebulizer she's like, I can't breathe. And that was the last words that she ever said to me, to us was, I can't breathe. So what quickly happened was a little bit of panic, bit of chaos. Charlotte was nervous because he, this boy was here witnessing this, and we quickly put him in the back, in a, in a room. and I grabbed Charlotte's EpiPen and we left for the er. She walked to the car. I. When we got in the car, she gave herself the EpiPen in her leg and it did absolutely nothing. She was, could not speak. She could not talk. She was just gasping for air, gasping for air, and I am driving like a mad woman. I am running lights. It felt like it took forever, even though we got there in minutes. Charlotte was blue. At this point, I, I picked her up and took her in there and they immediately whisked her back. I, I left my car running, I left the doors open. went and parked my car for me. Um, because, because it was just nuts. And so while I'm talking to triage in the, the er, um, she goes into cardiac arrest in the back. And so they, they, they start CPR. Now, I'm not back there. They start CPR. she goes into shock from being resuscitated. And when I got back there, um, it was, it was bad. She, she had not yet been intubated, but was bad. we're at the hospital close by. It's not a kid's hospital, And they're saying they need to transfer her to cooks in downtown Fort Worth. And so we were there for a little while. Um, but I, I mean, I, I knew, that things were bad, but I didn't know that she wasn't ever gonna wake up again. Then begins this Grueling 6 days of just watching her basically deteriorate. we talked to Charlotte's sister and she said, um, mom. They kissed, they, they had to have kissed. And, um, and it clicked he had told me where he had eaten and I did get confirmation his mother that, that, that they had kissed as well. That's when it clicked that they had kissed and caused her to go into anaphylactic shock.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 19:06

All while you're sitting with her in the hospital, that's when you put these pieces together. I just can't imagine how overwhelming that must have been to process on top of what was already going on.

Portia Barton: 19:18

Yeah. his mom we were friends. we were in communication a lot because our kids were hanging out, you know? I had gone and had lunch with her and had coffee and stuff with her, and we, we just would talk about things and, there was an understanding that they had kissed,

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 19:36

Mm-hmm.

Portia Barton: 19:36

I had made a post and I had brought up kissing, like dying. Dying from kissing. And she reached out to me. she didn't put it, she, she didn't put it together till later but on, on Charlotte's death certificate, it says anaphylactic shock from peanuts. Um, and sh Charlotte didn't eat peanuts.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 20:02

Right.

Portia Barton: 20:03

She hadn't eaten anything.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 20:05

Right. She was just hanging out at home. Right. Not having had any dinner yet you said.

Portia Barton: 20:09

Mm-hmm. People have come to me through sharing Charlotte's story confused about. How everything went down and what happened from one reaction to the next. And and that's been going on for a couple years because, I mean, it is just been a two and a half years, a little over that since all this happened. And I just didn't know how to say that. I didn't know how to say my daughter's death was an accident from. Just taking a risk and not thinking in the moment. um, you know, my, my 10-year-old, 11-year-old Charlotte would not have done what my, what my 12-year-old Charlotte did. I don't think Um, I've had parents allergy kiddo parents reach out to me and just be like. What, I'm confused what happened, like, but also thank you for like letting us know and shedd a light on the seriousness food allergies

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 21:16

it happens too often where someone, young person, adults too, die from their food allergies, and we all panic all these questions that you're getting, everybody wants to know exactly what happened because we feel frantic to protect our own children or ourselves. But you had every right to not answer every question, and I'm sorry that you were bombarded with, you know, I'm sure people were well-meaning, but I.

Portia Barton: 21:38

Yeah.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 21:38

You were grieving, you were figuring it out yourselves, and you, you are not obligated. To answer all of the questions that we have out of fear as a community when you're going through a tragedy like this. So I'm sorry that that was on top of everything you were already dealing with. Um, I think that happens often when there's a story like this. It must be tough.

Portia Barton: 21:58

Yeah. And, to protect my heart I knew that I would say it when I, when I was ready and it was

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 22:06

Yeah.

Portia Barton: 22:06

time. And, and, and I, and I feel like especially with more and more stories that are coming out about kiddos, um, dying from their food allergies, I wanna help. Any way I can to prevent this from happening to anyone ever again.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 22:22

Yeah.

Portia Barton: 22:23

Um, like I was telling you earlier, like I have another child that has the same life-threatening allergies, food allergies that Charlotte did.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 22:32

Mm-hmm.

Portia Barton: 22:34

um, we are entering the phase of where Charlotte was with him. And so there's a lot of fear, there's a lot of anxiety I am very overprotective and, and things like that. Um, when it comes to choices and things that he does and I will allow him to do and things like that. I don't wanna instill fear, but I just want everybody to realize. seriousness. I mean, that's all I want. Like it's, you know, no, no eye rolling. No, like, don't overreact like. Just take a Benadryl, you'll be fine. None of that, like it's, and everybody's story's unique and different and you know, there's different levels of severe and mild and all that and you know, but it's still serious and it still can happen and it still did.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 23:27

Mm-hmm.

Portia Barton: 23:28

with prevention keeping those lines of communication open with your, your teens and your pre-teens, especially when they're, they're at that risk taking age. It's so important. I miss her so much and I wonder. How she would be and what she would be doing. she'd be 15. Um, and she wanted to be an epidemiologist, like diseases, like she thought they were the coolest things. she was curious and she had like her own notebook of epidemiology stuff that she had began studying. My dad, my parents gave her a book, an epidemiology book one time for like Christmas, a couple years back, and she studied it and wrote notes. About diseases and stuff. she was, I mean, she would've, she would've changed the world and, but she is changing the world just in a different way.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 24:23

thank you for sharing it with us. You touched on something that I know is important for both of us that we're not doing this to scare people, right? We don't want to just instill fear. We want to take Charlotte's message and like you said, what change can, can she bring into the world through her life and. It shines a light on that because this was not a case of we didn't know that information. We didn't realize that could be dangerous. I never talked to my child about it. You did everything right. But the reality is 12-year-old kids do not make. Decisions based on those things at every moment of every, day of their lives. you said it so powerfully, like 10-year-old Charlotte never would've done this. 11-year-old Charlotte. Probably not. And then these developmental stages hit and things change. So it's, it's a hard reality to see, but it goes beyond just like, well, I told her not to do it right.

Portia Barton: 25:15

Yeah. Yeah. And like the instance too, with the candy, like, she would've never done that. Like,

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 25:22

Right.

Portia Barton: 25:23

mean, and she always had like goodies and snacks and stuff with her. I mean, she always carried a bag or a purse or something

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 25:29

Mm-hmm.

Portia Barton: 25:30

stuff in it. And so I do have periods of time where I would've coulda, shoulda have. And I, know that that's that I have to work through and it's not helpful to do that to myself on a consistent basis. And I try not to. Um, but it's always there. And so, you know, if I can bring change and just. Help my son, Brandon, and anybody else, and any scared mom or dad out there, or caregiver who's worried about their food allergy kiddo, I just felt like it was the time to just. Share as much as I could of Charlotte's story to just help anybody out and answer any questions and clear up any confusion. That's her legacy and I, I am her legacy keeper at this point from now on. And I guess that's, that's what I'm here for now.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 26:26

Yeah. and I just wanna reiterate, you, you did everything the doctors told you to do. You followed instructions, you did all the things, so it's a normal process that you're going through in terms of working through, Regrets and what could I have done differently? Are there things you want them to know based on your experience?

Portia Barton: 26:42

Yeah. I mean, I, I want them to know that when it comes to their health and their safety, that. there may come a time and there will come a time where you are intimate with someone you have to ask them what they ate. it's kind of strange because if you're getting intimate with someone, you're at that level with them, but. awkward is it to say, yeah, did you have any peanut butter today? Because I wanna smooch, but I'm a little, I'm a little scared, you know? But you literally have to do that. And so advocate for yourself before anything. And conversations might be awkward, know what? But I would rather it be awkward than deadly.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 27:31

Right. Right. And to be fair, it's easy to say as adults and it's so hard to experience as a young person, but it's all awkward. First kisses are awkward. Dates are awkward. Whether it's someone you're already intimate with or spontaneous, you know, kids at a party or something like that, it. It's all awkward. We all have our awkward stuff around it. So I know that doesn't take it away from kids to say that, but I think it helps to remind them to put it in that bigger picture perspective. Like it's all gonna feel weird. You are a teenager, it's uncomfortable. Be uncomfortable safely.'cause you're gonna be uncomfortable. Right.

Portia Barton: 28:07

Yeah, yeah, for sure. I, I like that to just be uncomfortable safely. Um,'cause you know, it is just a moment. It is just a moment and life goes on and things progress and everything. But don't

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 28:20

Okay.

Portia Barton: 28:21

embarrassed. To advocate for yourself, because sometimes you are embarrassed or you feel like a burden, you know? And I know sometimes, Charlotte, felt like her food allergies were a burden. And I don't want anybody to feel that way. Talk to somebody, reach out to a friend, or if you've got a therapist or somebody that can help you work through some of these triggers and phobias and things that bring this fear around food allergies. Um, it really does help having a community and talking it out and talking with people. Who relate and who get it, you know? A community is such a powerful thing. I'm learning that in this space and I'm learning it in the grief space. I, I'm learning it in all ways, t he importance of connecting with people, um, even when things are hard, you know?'cause sometimes that's what helps get us through, is just having that relation with somebody who gets it.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 29:21

Absolutely. And the people who get it, who don't find your needs to be a burden are your people. They are your community. If. They find it to be burdensome or problematic or irritating, or whatever the fear is. They're not your people. And again, that's easy to say and hard to feel when you're a young person, especially. The feeling of rejection in your adolescence is just so huge. But, um, it's a lesson like many other things that our kids have to learn younger, unfortunately, right?

Portia Barton: 29:49

right, right. And, and, and it is true because like you said, they're like, they're right on that cusp of where they're feeling, all the feels and, Feelings are all that matter in, in moments. And so, it takes those awkward, tough conversations with your kiddos, when they're getting into middle school, like I know, like for my son Brandon, he's about to go into seventh grade and been, we have like quadrupled up on conversations, especially with what's happened in our family.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 30:17

Hm,

Portia Barton: 30:18

but middle school is, is a good starting point I think for that, for those talks. And so going forward, I'll continue to, talk about Charlotte and, and her life she left an iPhone with. over 8,000 images and videos and many blurry pictures. I guess that's a thing kids are just, the pictures are blurry and I'm like, what is, what am I what am I looking at here? Um, but I'm so thankful for that, that I have that. I have all these sweet images and little things that um, I'm so thankful for.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 30:56

I love your photos of her. Thank you so much for sharing her with all of us. I mean, she just looks like the greatest, most beautiful little vibrant. Soul of a little person. So I appreciate that you're sharing that with all of us and giving us a glimpse, you know, to remember and to to help other people. thank you for protecting all of our children. Thank you for taking your pain and using it in a way that will make the rest of us safer.

Portia Barton: 31:23

Well, it's all I know to do. I gotta put it somewhere, I can't leave it inside. Like it's not, it's not gonna stay. I've, I mean, I, there's moments where I, I feel like I, I can't do this and like, it's just too painful and, but, I would rather people have to know her, like through the photos and through the posts and the videos, and through me, um, than to have not have known her at all. So she was my sunshine and a soul.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 31:52

What a beautiful girl.

Portia Barton: 31:53

thank you.

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 31:54

Thank you so much for coming here to talk to, to all of us about it and for sharing your story. you sound like you're open to people reaching out. I know you said you're on social media. Do you wanna share where they can find you?

Portia Barton: 32:04

Yeah, for sure. I have two Instagrams. Um, Charlotte's is,@livelikechar, then I have like a, a grieving, I. um,@iamportiabarton, a place where I kind of put my grief. Um, and so, and then I'm on Facebook, um, Portia Barton on Facebook. Um, I'm on TikTok, but not so much. It's hard to keep up with all these social media platforms. I'm gonna, I'm just, it's, it's. It's a lot. Um, but I've also got some YouTube stuff going on that's, um, in the works and, and stuff like that. So, but probably Instagram would probably be a good place to connect

Amanda Whitehouse, PhD: 32:40

I'll encourage everybody to follow and, and listen along and celebrate her life with you and just show our appreciation to you for sharing with all of us.

Portia Barton: 32:48

I appreciate it so much and thank you for all you do as well. thank you.

32:54

Thank you again so much for joining me, Portia, and sharing this important story and telling us about your girl, Charlotte. as Portia said, she's very generously. Open to your questions to conversation about this important topic so you can reach her through the links she shared the links are also provided in the notes. You can share your comments and questions with me with either of our Instagram posts directly, and we'll be monitoring those to respond to any questions or to discuss this in any way that would be helpful for you. As you do that, please be mindful that this is a grieving mother and a grieving family. All of our love goes out to Portia, to the whole family, to the young man and his family who were involved in this incident. It's heartbreaking and we appreciate you having the bravery and the strength to share this to protect other people. And after listening, if you still have questions about this topic or you wanna hear more, if you've missed it, there was a part one and a part two to this series on food allergies and intimacy. Part one is with Dr. Scott Sicherer speaking about the medical aspects of this. Part two was with Sloan Miller Allergic Girl, and we talked about the social emotional aspects of this. Those are episodes 25 and 26 of the podcast, and I encourage you to go back and listen if you haven't already. I also created a free handout on the topic to help you think through and remember the information that's been shared in the series. So feel free to reach out to me through the contact page on my website, through Instagram or through my email. You can find the links to all of those in the notes here on the show and request that freebie and I'll be happy to share it with you. Thank you for listening. the content of this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any questions about your own medical experience or mental health needs, please consult a professional. I'm Dr. Amanda White house. Thanks for joining me. And until we chat again, remember don't feed the fear.